I've avoided this long enough. I told Liam that I'd talk to Niall, and now I have to. I pull myself out of bed and walk to the showers. I spend a lot of time under the hot water, just clearing my mind. I finally get out and dress in jeans and a blue and purple sweater. I towel-dry my hair, then brush it out and leave it down. I don't bother with makeup, because I just have a feeling that I'll be emotional today.
I look at myself in the mirror for the first time in three weeks, and for the first time, I notice how bad I look. My skin is too pale, my eyes red-rimmed, and my cheeks are sunken in. I haven't eaten well since that night, and it shows. I've gone downhill a lot.. I can't believe I didn't notice..
After I stare at my reflection for awhile, I pull myself away. I need to go find Niall and talk to him. I walk out of the bathrooms and to Niall's room. I really don't expect him to be there, but it seems like the best place to start. I knock on the door and wait, not really expecting an answer. But before I can walk away, I hear footsteps shuffle across the floor, and the door opens. I look into the blue eyes of Niall, a soft gasp catching in my throat.
He looked out of wack, disheveled really. His face was tired, and there were dark circles under each of his eyes. He had on just a pair of lowslung sweatpants, no shirt. I could see all the tattoos running along his arms and chest. His eyes, which are usually blazing blue, are dull and grayish. "Niall.." I say softly, not able to process why he looks like this.
He looks at me. "Anna.." He says, and when he opens his mouth, I can tell that he's been drinking. "I'm so sorry about what I did to you. I can't believe that I hurt you like that. You're such a sweet, kind girl. I hurt you. Oh, babe, I'm so sorry." He slurs out, swaying on his feet. "Niall, come on. Let's sit you down." I say, stepping in and leading him over to the bed. He lets me, slumping back on the bed. I look around, my eyes widening a little.
The whole place is trashed. His and Liam's halves are both covered in broken bottle shards, papers and posters, and the beside stands are turned over. The floor is wet in places, and smells like whiskey. There's a hole in the wall about the height of Niall's arms and the size of his fist. One quick glance at his hand tells me that he hit the wall. With a sigh, I begin to clean up the room.
"Anna, I'm really s-sorry, babe. For everything I've done to y-you these past few weeks." He says, words shaking, but I shake my head. "Shh, Niall. Quiet. Don't strain yourself. You'll be sick. How much did you drink?" I ask, walking over after I finish cleaning. He shakes his head. "Only a l-little bit." He slurs out, holding his thumb and forefinger spread a apart a little bit. I can tell he'd had so much more than that, though.
"Alright. Lay back, Niall. You need to sleep." I say, going to stand to leave. He grabs my wrist, stopping me from getting up. "Stay with me. Don't go. Don't leave me." He slurs out, and I sigh. I nod, and sit back down. I go to say something else, but he's already passed out. With a sigh, I pull the blankets up to his chin and make sure he's laying so if he pukes, he won't choke.
For awhile, I just skt on the edge of his bed. Eventually, I move up closet and onto the bed so I'm more comfortable. He moves closer, wrapping his arms around my torso and resting his head in my lap. I just lay there, playing with his hair and watching him sleep. And in those few stolen moments of sleep, he looked younger, peaceful. "Oh my.. I'm really, really in love with him. I don't just like him, I love him. I'm in love with Niall Horan." I think to myself as I look down at him. That's the last thing I remember thinking before I fall asleep.
