I wake up the next morning, Niall's soft breathing being the only sound in the room. I look down at him, brushing the hair off his forehead. I watch him sleep, thoughts racing around in my brain, confusing, yet clarifying the situation that Niall and I are in, at least, in my mind.
"I'm a basket case.. That's all I am. Falling for this boy after all that he's put me through. He's hurt me, and now I'm willing to fall in love with him again? He'll put me through even more shit if I let him back into my world. He'll break my heart in three if I give him the chance. I don't know why I'm letting him back in.
"But honestly, I do.. I know the reason. I love him. Unconditionally, irrevocably, 100 percent love him. No matter how much I try to get him out of my mind, it won't work. I'm too far out in the water, I've gone too deep. I can't get out of his grasp; he's holding my heart. No matter what I do, I'm still going to be under his spell. I don't know what I'm going to do in this relationship, but I do know that I want it. I want to be with him. I love him."
My thoughts slip away when I notice that Niall is beginning to wake. I watch as he blinks his eyes open, then squeezes them shut again in pain. "God damn, my head hurts." He mumbles, and I look at him. "Are you okay?" I ask softly, and he bolts up a bit. "Anna?!?" He says, running his fingers through his hair. "What are you doing here?" He asks.
"I came to talk, Niall. I know you've been rough off, and I really miss you. You really hurt me when I saw what you did, but I guess I didn't have the right to be that upset. It's not as if we were really dating, but I still felt betrayed when I saw you with that girl. And I'm not so naive to believe that there weren't more than just her. I'm sure there were others. But, I'm willing to overlook that. I want to give you another chance, and I want to try again with you." I say, looking at him.
He looks at me. "Anna, I'm sorry." He says, running this hand down his face. I shake my head and hug him. At first he doesn't hug back, but then he wraps his arms around me tightly and buries his face in my neck. I rub his back and try to comfort him, just holding him close to me.
After staying there for a little while, he pulls away. "I've never felt like this for any other girl in my life. I felt so terrible after I was with those others. When you found out, my heart broke. I don't blame you for hitting me, and I sure as hell wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to see me again. I screwed up royally with you.
"God, I don't know what I'm feeling. Because I thought it was just lust at first, but this is so different. I've felt lust before, and this isn't it. I mean, yes, there is list there, but it's not just that. I feel more for you than just that." He says, looking down at me. I look up at him, the ice around my heart melting. That was all I needed to hear from him to wrap my arms around him and pull him into a long, tight hug.
I just hug him tight, not needing to say anything. I know exactly how he fells about me, and though he didn't exactly say the words, I know he loves me. And I love him too. And for now, that's all we need.
