Scaring the Guards

9. Uncle Tut's Hall

Previously on Scaring the Guards: our horrory friends managed to escape the Spanish Inquisition and fled further into the London Underground network. The surviving cardinals however, were sucked dry by Dracula, who then continued to pursue our fiends (hehe), while unknowingly being chased himself by a now homeless and very angry Ghost.

The Terrible Trio had no idea how long they had travelled through the Underground, but eventually they found a way up from the tunnels and caverns. After climbing a ladder that went on forever, and burning away a grill that was in the way, Mummy, Dragon, and Zombie found themselves in a darkened room. They could see through the windows that it was night. 

Dragon lit a torch that was somehow hanging from the wall and looked around. Everywhere were Egyptian statues and mummies and stuff.

"NO WAY!!!" exclaimed Mummy. "Were in the British Museum!"

"Are these all relatives of yours?" Zombie asked as she looked at the mummies and sarcophagi."

"Well I did always hear that Uncle Tut was on display here."

"Oh you mean whoever is in this golden sarcophagus?" Dragon interjected.

Mummy looked at where Dragon was pointing.

"Yeah that's him."

"You don't seem particularly excited to see him..." remarked Zombie.

"Yeah, Uncle Tut was kind of an asshole... he was the one who had me mummified."

"Why?" Zombie asked.

"Competition I guess. I didn't even care about ruling the kingdom, so much responsibility... but being the jealous adolescent that he was, Uncle Tut decided to mummify me alive."

"What happened next?"

"Well one of the priests hated Tut, so instead of using balming fluid, he replaced my blood with Sphinx blood."

"WHOA!" Dragon interrupted, "The Sphinx had blood???"

"Well yeah, the Sphinx used to be a living monster once, until my granddad turned it to stone."

"How did he do that?" Zombie asked.

"He went to Greece and stole the head of Medusa, then returned to Egypt to slay the Sphinx. But when he fought the beast, it knocked the head out of my granddad's hands so he cut off its tail before retrieving the head of Medusa and turning it to stone. A nearby priest caught the tail and collected the blood inside in a giant vase."

"I see," Dragon said, "So when you were mummified there was this magical Sphinx blood still lying around."

"Exactly!" Mummy answered. "And this priest gave it all to me so I would survive the mummification process and gain some superpowers in the process."

"So what did you do once you had become a mummy?"

"I haunted Uncle Tut for a few months until he had become a whiny mess, and then I bashed his head in with a twig."

"A twig?" Zombie asked in surprise.

"Oh yes, Uncle Tut had always been a softie."

Zombie started laughing uncontrollably because she had no self-control when she laughed. Within seconds she was rolling around on the floor just laughing and crying pus.

"A softie!!!" she kept saying in between bouts of laughter.

While Mummy and Dragon looked on with amusement, more sinister forces were also drawn to the ruckus.