So our heroes, who really just so happen to be villains, have found themselves in the British Museum and stumbled on the sarcophagus of Mummy's uncle Tut, who apparently was an asshole. Zombie started laughing so hard that she drew the attention of sinister forces.
A cold howl suddenly made Zombie all serious again and our Terrible Trio stood back to back wondering what they were up against this time. Without warning, a door on the far side of the room burst open and a dozen loosely wrapped skeletons came rushing in.
"Oh great!" Mummy sighed, "Peruvian mummies..."
"Peruvian mummies?" asked Dragon.
"Yeah, they've always been jealous of our Egyptian mummifying skills so they keep harrassing us about it."
Mummy made ready to blast the skeletons apart, but when the Peruvians saw him they froze abruptly.
"Why are you stopping?" Zombie asked almost disappointed.
One of the skeletons stepped forward.
"You think we're stupid enough to attack a Sphinx-blooded mummy? I mean, look at us, we're friggin skeletons; he'd blast us apart in seconds."
"Then why did y'all rush in in the first place?" remarked Dragon.
"It's Tease Tut day."
"Tease Tut day?"
"Yeah, it's this thing we do once a year where we go over to Tut's sarcophagus and call him a wimpy softie all day long."
"You guys don't get out a lot, do you?" Mummy said.
"Like you would go outside with this figure." the skeletons rattled.
Suddenly the Peruvian mummies got very quiet and wary.
"What's wrong?" Mummy asked.
"There's somebody else in here... somebody sinister."
A shadow fell from the ceiling in the midst of the skeletons and tore them all apart before anyone even had a chance to blink, and our Terrible Trio stared down the pale face of Count Dracula.
"At last we meet," the vampire rasped.
"You could have just met us without tearing a dozen skeletons to shreds," Dragon yelled.
"True true," Dracula retorted, "but it would have made my arrival less ominous and badass."
"Oh lord, you're not one of those hipster vampires are you?" Zombie remarked, "saying badass and awesome in a desperate attempt to look modern... I hate those people."
"Why are you even here?" Mummy asked.
"I'm glad you asked!" the vampire exclaimed. "I wouldn't want to kill you without your henchmonsters knowing why."
"Kill me?" reacted Mummy.
"HENCHMONSTERS?!!" yelled Dragon and Zombie.
"Don't get caught up on minor details now," Dracula said. "The reason I'm here is because of something you (he pointed a clawed finger at Mummy) did when you came here."
"I did a lot when I came here, so you're gonna have to be more specific." Mummy answered.
"When the three of you came on the airplane, you talked to my granddaughter Vampira! And after you and your henchmonsters made a mess on said airplane and fled, the Air Marshall arrested her because you had talked with her. And when they found out that she was a vampire, they sentenced her to an overheated dungeon in the Tower, which receives direct sunlight every day at noon!!!"
"So why are you chasing us when you could be breaking her out?"
"All in good time," Dracula answered. "As far as the Council of Vampires is concerned, I am working on her release right now. But since I'm no longer allowed to attack other horrory creatures after I caused a war between vampires and werewolves, they can never know about what I am about to do to you lot."
Dragon suddenly got into Dracula's face.
"I was a Werewolf, you know, before this weird airplane drink turned me into this. So you're the reason why my whole family died..."
A mean glow begain to grow in the back of her throat.
"The plot thickens," Count Dracula said as his face contorted in a maniacal grin.
"You die now..."
YOU ARE READING
Scaring the Guards
HumorAn awesomely crazy story that me and one of my bestest friends came up with a while back. Just thought I'd post it here for laughs. It's about a trio of horrory beings that are out to scare the last people in the world who haven't been scared by th...
