I always forget how much it hurts to be ignored by the people you love,
Until it happens again.
I always forgot how much it hurt being ignored by Gerard because that pain was diluted by him making up for it later.
I hated when he ignored me.
I always felt so alone and sad then.
Like there was nothing to hold me to my feet anymore.
And though, I knew it was more likely because Gerard was feeling too depressed to speak to anyone,
I always blamed myself for it.
And I always was so scared each time that it would be the end of us,
That there would be no more best friends until forever.
That I had let everything fallen too far into the dark pits of loneliness, let it hit the ground and crumble apart.
I could feel it, the crumbling. On my own skin.
Slowly, just slowly and the slowness made it even hurt more because I would be unsure of wether it was going to happen or not–of wether or not Gerard would come and talk to me again, and it was scary. The anticipation would always kill me, on the inside. It was like I was a dead man, walking.
And this time everything seemed way worse to me, hurt me even more because it started just the day after I had told Gerard that I was glad that he was my friend, just as I had been scared that he'd start replacing me with someone else.
But normally, gladly every time Gerard would come just in time to pick me back up and put me back together.
He'd stop us from crumbling apart, even though he'd been the one to make everything start falling apart in the first place.
But falling apart was something that I wished for to never happen.
Something that made me cry just at the thought of it.
Something that wasn't suppose to happen.
Not to us,
We were meant to be,
Happy together for the rest of our lives.
I could see us old and wrinkly by each other's sides,
We were meant to be.
A/N: I could actually upload this more frequently because I've written almost all of the chapters except two, but I'm currently just feeding silence so it doesn't matter...yet.
Does anyone wanna share their Halloween costume with me? I'm curious.
