diary ➡ me

033

171012 03:40AM

mind you, that i have school in 2 hours and 20 minutes.

im so stressed

im so tired

i barely sleep and i only do when im too tired

i take lots of time doing homework and when i dont i have a long list of requirements due near

i have house chores to do, needs that i need to do, but i dont have enough time and energy

whenever im going to eat, i think: should i study?
sleep: study?
study: chores?
sometimes i even ask myself, "will i even get to eat? will i even get to sleep? will i even get to pass despite being up all night until 3am?"

everything is still not enough for me and i try so hard to fix it

but i dont have time

i cant

i dont know how to manage

i just get more disappointed with myself and sad and frustrated and tired each day and i hate it

why cant i be worth it?

why cant i do better?

why cant i be better?

why cant i?

im so full of emotions and learning to keep them all in even if youre about to burst is so difficult

the peer pressure is still there

and i dont know if i can keep up with everyone's pace

i know i always take my own damn time

but it means that im tired

im so so tired

i just want everything to freeze for a moment.