HEDONISTIC

3. "Yeah bro i mean i could totally fuck her"

EDITED

Fuck she was pretty.

Frankie didn't have any problem with pretty, none at all. She liked pretty things like freshly cut grass, sunflowers, Beyoncé, the human anatomy, a bag of pills. 

The only thing that bothered her was the fact that she didn't see herself as  "pretty", not in her eyes at least and that was what mattered .

It didn't matter when a hot and bothered guy at the club said it because he was just trying to get into her pants or just then when Louis came up to her and said she looked nice in her shirt because she knew that all he wanted was to get underneath it.

She didn't care; she was weird, quiet, a bitch, a bit of a whore with blonde curls and she was at peace with that.

She didn't care but fuck she felt awful when she saw that model chick looking for two glasses of sangria, the worst part was that she had the nerve to smile at her, it was like she wasn't ok with just being pretty she had to be nice too.

A few hours later she found herself swallowing the third shot of tequila that some dude with a Kanye West t-shirt gave to her, she decided it would be a good idea to sit on the grass and look at the clouds, she was utterly  drunk and Amber was nowhere to be found.

Fuck she hated social events.

Matty had drank at least two glasses of sangria but his heart still flutter when he saw his girlfriend walking up to him with the third one.

He then noticed that his heart was fluttering for the wrong reasons, it should flutter  because Gaby was adorable and had a lovely smile, but no it was fluttering because she was delivering him more alcohol but the again he knew that he needed a shit ton of alcohol to get through this shitty prepubescent "barbecue". 

It wasn't even a barbecue it was the excuse that Louis used to throw a party and to make Denise happy at the same time.

"Thanks darling, you are such a doll" he said kissing Gabby's  cheek when she arrived immediately taking the glass from her hand because you know priorities.

"Maybe you should go and talk to Lou, you have barely spoke to him" Gaby said, looking across where he was talking to a bunch of (what looked) assholes.

"Yeah but I would rather cut off my right testicle"  Matty said taking a sip from the drink and closing his eyes.

"Matt! I mean you barely see him, at least try and make an effort, please?" Fuck he hated when she was right.

It wasn't that he didn't love his brother, it was that he felt like he couldn't relate to him anymore. He didn't know anything about him, when he left home for touring Louis was 13, it almost felt like if he was a different person.  "Sure, I'll go" he muttered into his drink as he dragged his feet to his brother's location.

" Yeah bro I mean like I could totally fuck her, oh hi Matty " said Louis with a beer in his hand giving Matty a grin. "Hi man" he said trying not to roll his eyes at his brother's vocabulary or maybe lack thereof.

"What were you on about?" Matty said with a smirk. He didn't know much about his brother's romantic life and he liked to keep it that way but then he thought of all the blackmail material he would have.

"It's nothi-" Lou was about to say as a guy with a Kanye t-shirt and glasses said "You see that girl?" The kid said pointing at the chick that Matty would totally fuck if he was in high school: She was sitting on the grass with a shot in hand looking at the sky.

"Yeah what about her?" Matty said tilting his head.

"Louis here has a total crush on her and she doesn't even look at him, he's like so whipped! " The guy said and the group erupted in a series of laughs.

"Fuck off Kyle!" Louis said looking petrified with blushed cheeks looking into his drink as if he would find the answer  to life itself in there, he mumbled an excuse and left the group leaving Matty full of questions.

He excused himself from the group too and tried to follow his brother but for his drunken brain it was too hard to keep up with Louis' rapid walking, eventually he lost him.

He had looked for Lou everywhere, he was nowhere to be found: In the garage, his room, the basement, living room, kitchen, now he was preoccupied.

How could some chick have that impact on him? She was just a girl.

"Fuck be careful man" Matty didn't even notice he just crashed into someone, not just anyone the girl with the vintage shirt that had his little brother head over heels.

"I'm so sorry, fuck" he said, for the first time actually looking at her, she really wasn't anything special, he didn't get it.

"Nah it's cool man" she said taking a paper towel trying to clean the tequila off her shirt, she was definitely drunk. "Do you have a lighter ?" She asked taking a cigarette from her pocket.

"Yeah here, hey umm weird question have you seen my brother?" " oh Louis ?" She said taking a break to exhale the smoke, " he's on the rooftop". 

He didn't even ask how she knew that he just quickly excused himself and went to his old room back when he used to live in his mom's house.

The room was full of old memories: his shitty guitar, the desk where he wrote so many songs with the boys. Matty opened the window and slowly climbed up the latter that lead to the rooftop, sitting in there with crossed legs was Louis with a cigarette in hand and a bottle wine on the other, maybe that was a genetic thing.

He didn't know how to approach him, he wasn't good at helping people, usually he was the one being helped, sometimes by George dragging him off-stage drunk after a meltdown or Jamie every time he had a band identity crisis.

"Hey Lou?" He said softly sitting next to him and taking the bottle of his hand and drinking a long sip from the shitty wine, his greeting was meet by silence.

" Her name is Frankie, she's a year behind me." Louis said after a couple minutes looking at his hands, his voice was so soft that Matty could barely hear him.

"She has a boyfriend you know? Once I saw him picking her up from school, his hands were under her skirt. I think he's not really her boyfriend more like a fuck-buddy, anyway he is a filmmaker or some shit like that, his name is James he's like 20.

Fuck how can I compete with that?

She reads Kafka in between classes, her IQ is up the fucking rooftop and she takes acid trips in the school bathroom. I don't even know how her voice sounds Matty. For god's sake the only person she talks to is that Amber chick.

I didn't even think she was going to come today, she is driving me fucking insane, it would be one thing if she was just pretty but she isn't, she is just so.. Different you know? She's clever and witty, I don't know man. I feel like there isn't a way to impress her.

She reminds me of you kinda, you both love being watch and be the center of attention.  I don't think she even sees me as a person, I don't think she sees me at all.

I think about her when I listen to your songs, fuck she's all I think about when I listen to any song. I can't even listen to music because if I close my eyes all I see are her  fucking chocolate ones questioning my every move. Fuck Kyle is right Matty, she's got me whipped."

For the first time in forever Matty Healy had lost his words, he really didn't know what to say to his little brother.