HEDONISTIC

21. "You're the only healthy drug there is" is a nice line quote me on that

EDITED

"Ok"

The word "ok" as an interjection is described in the dictionary as a word used to express agreement, understanding, acceptance, or something along those lines but here, right now, in the smelly alleyway were Frankie and Matty stood- not as individuals but as a whole: as cross star lovers ready to run away and get drunk it was used for defiance, because the truth was that they didn't want to let go of this  feeling.

Frankie made Matty feel like he was taking coke up his ass and Matty made Frankie's head dizzy almost as if he was some type of religious experience, it was kind of the perfect match or close enough for the matter.

"Ok" Frankie replied herself not for lack understanding from the receptor but for her own reassurance.

She wasn't one for self doubt but Matty made her feel small, Francis was always proud when people confused her as someone older, she felt like she had tricked them but Matty saw through her bullshit, always. Matty let out a sigh that nor Frankie or himself knew he was holding.

He hugged her.

Frankie had been hugged before, but never like this since her dad went away. There was something so warm, something that felt right, smelt right. She let her body sag, her muscles become loose.

In that embrace she felt her worries loose their keen sting and her optimism raise its head from the dirt. Perhaps the hope had been there all along, but without some love it was trapped, like crystals in a stone. She felt him brush her hair back with his piano player fingers and kiss her gently...

" I swear Frankie" He said, his hot breath hitting her cheek. He was breathing her savoring each moment because the truth was that he loved to touch her and he hated himself for that. It wasn't even in a sexual way, anywhere from her face, her hands, her curly blonde hair. Matthew was melting into her like ice-cream on a warm porcelain bowl, like he belonged next to her. "You are the only healthy drug there is"

She chuckled, the giggle rolled around the alleyway like a fucking dreidel on the first night of Hanukkah. It was vibrant and heart warming as it moved around Matty's empty skull in a chaotic way because the truth was that since the first time he met Frankie he had ultimately lost his brain and he didn't know were to find it. "Only a child can laugh so," Matty thought, " but why shouldn't we all laugh so freely?"

"Because adults do stupid things like develop cocaine addiction and hit on 16 year olds" said a voice inside his head, and fuck the voice was right.

They were interrupted by the muffled ring sound of Frankie's phone, she groan placing her head on Matty's shoulder rolling her eyes. She took out the phone from her skirt pocket and looked at the callers ID muttering: "its my mum"

"Hey... yeah... i don't.... mom..... since when do you care?..... Harry left didn't he?.... oh mom...... I'll get home soon" Matty wants able to understand what was going to on but he assumed it was serious as Frankie's playful expression changed into something else, something different.

"I really have to go, I'm sorry" She said leaving after giving him one last hug and a chaste kiss. Just like that she was gone leaving Mathew Healy alone with a head full of questions and tingly lips.

-

Frankie's house was identical to it's neighbours right down to the shade of paint on the iron balconies, but you could tell which one was hers right away.
Every other dwelling was simple with clean cut grass but hers had a garden with a riot of blooms in every shade that her mother loved and took her of more that her youngest.

The house was pitch black not a light on with all the curtains drawn in, she tiptoed her way in assuming her mother was asleep. Frankie left her backpack by the fireplace and found her was to the stairs trying not to make any noise.

She opened her mothers room only to find her scattered on the bed with yesterday's makeup on and a lingering alcohol smell. Her form-fitting nightgown was a pristine white. It pooled around her like liquid silk. The silk caressed her skin like a cool autumn breeze.

She sighed, this always happened at the end.

Frankie moved closer to the bed with the intention of waking her mother up, god knows how much she drank and it wasn't a good idea that she stayed asleep, she could vomit and choke on it dying in the process and then Frankie would have to go into the foster system and she wasn't about to let that happen.

"Mom, mom, wake up" Frankie said softly not wanting to wake her up so abruptly. After a while she did wake up, she stayed silent for a second probably recalling what had happened before, Frankie stayed quiet not knowing what to say really.

Susan's eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As she blinked, they dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; Frankie's heart broke

Her lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of her mouth. "He..." She began, yet what followed was muffled by weeps.

-

On the other side of town Matthew Timothy Healy was sitting on a couch playing some stupid game with Ross as Adam was sitting on the floor just watching the whole thing unfold and George was in the kitchen fixing something edible.

His mind was elsewhere of course, it was with Frankie and her freckled covered cheeks and unamused eyes. George called for him making him snap out of his trance, his school plaid skirt wearing trance.

He chucked the controller to Adam and went to the kitchen to see want was up with him, honestly he was kind of happy because the living room walls felt very constricted.

"Yeah?" Matty said entering the kitchen only to find George looking very domestic as he was slicing up some tomatoes for what looked like some type of soup.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" George said.

"What do you mean? I'm ok everything is fine" Matty said looking into Georges eyes trying to make a point but if there was one person in the whole universe that Mathew Healy couldn't fool it was George.

"Yeah right! Matty I know you, you have being so quiet and actually pleasant to be around, you haven't being an annoying little shit with Adam and we both know that that's not you." George said rolling his eyes.

"Was that supposed to be a complement?"

"No"

"Look" George started again thus time with a different approach. "You know you can tell me anything right?" "Georg-" "no, let you finish for the first time in your life. Matty you are my best friend please, please tell me what's wrong, it's something going on with Denise? Louis?" He shook his head.

"Gabby maybe?"

He looked at his feet suddenly intricate by the patterns on his socks.

"Did you chea-..." whispered George not really knowing if it was ok to suggest it or finish the word but Matty was done with this heart to heart bullshit.

"YES, YES I DID OKAY? I'm cheating. I cheated with a fucking 16 year old and I know shes the best girl in the whole universe! But whenever I see Frankie, my view on Gabriella totally changes. It's like I don't even know who my girlfriend is anymore. It hurts me, but it feels so good at the same time"

"Wait what?" - Said a voice coming from the living room.