HEDONISTIC

36. Matty and Frankie are both pretty stupid

Matty has the habit of calling George every time he fucked up but this time it was different. He firstly would had to explain what the fuck was going on and how things had unfolded with Frankie. He didn't want to do that. He didn't want the small nods and condescending eyes. So he didn't.

Matty Healy let the days pass for once in his live he was patient because he knew deep down that what they did was wrong and that Frankie was utterly right.

Frankie tried to keep herself occupied but after shagging and starting to develop feelings for a rockstar organic chemistry wasn't really interesting.

She started calling James again and hanging out with him more after school. Kissing and touching was hard he wasn't as soft as Matty, he wasn't anything like Matthew at all and that was kind of the problem.

That night she was drunk, a week had passed and she was mad at James for ditching her to go out with some instagram model to take pictures.

The idea of calling him clouded her mind and after drinking a whole bottle of red it became ever more of a good idea.

So she did and Matty had a soft spot for her so he ditched Gabby and Allen driving to the other end of the city just to see her.

Everything went to shit the moment he saw her pyjamas.

After calling an hour prior and telling him some bullshit story about her mom not being home and James being a dick. Frankie was dragging her words and Matty could tell she was drunk. Deep down he knew that he shouldn't have drove all the way to her house but the thought of leaving the 16 year old alone and drunk was unbearable.

She invited Matty inside and pointed to a full wineglass already on the coffee table, and promptly began to moan about James, apparently he had being dickhead. Matty could hardly pay attention to anything other than her tiny pajama shorts and her jumper.

He took a spot on the ugly cushy armchair and set a box of fags on the table, looking at her as she started to ramble- always her. Her hair was freshly washed, and a few loose, blonde curls framed her face. They looked so soft.

Matty Healy gulped down a mouthful of wine.

"It's always the same fucking thing with him, Matty "

Frankie grumbled thirty minutes later.

Her lids drooping as she annihilated yet another fag and reached for the box again. There were only four left, and Matty wondered if he should've bought another box.

"You'd think he'd be different after a while don't you? I thought he would, but then again I thought you would be different too"

Shifting in the armchair he smiled glancing down at his almost empty wineglass. He couldn't remember if this was his third or forth.

"I don't know why I keep expecting him to change, I don't know why I keep expecting you to change." She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them close like a child would a teddy bear, and took a drag not caring about the smell of cigarettes that would linger the house.

He forced himself  to ask what he always wanted to ask before: "Then why do you?"

Frankie rolled the fag between her fingers and sighed. "I dunno. We, I like you and I like him too and I like the idea of being liked by someone anyone—I don't know." Her lips pursed while drawing in a long breath, then she shrugged. "Something will change something always does."

Matty downed his last bit of wine to hold off a groan. It was already half one in the morning.

"I like to reckon that maybe somehow he's what I need and at the end I'm going to realize that and life will not be so shit  ," she concluded with a soft smile  in her wine stained mouth.

"Oh yeah?" He chuckled. "So you think that this dickhead is what you need? You deserve so much better " He muttered at the end.

She laughed.

Her laugh was carefree, and she shot him a grin that made his stomach turn.

He reached for the wine bottle. "What?"

"Matty." She shook her head, something like endearing amusement still stretching her lips.

"Look all I'm saying is, that you don't deserve being treated like shit, not by him not by anyone. " He swigged down the last bit of wine. "Fucking dump him already, move on."

She snorted and combed her fingers through her blonde curls, "Don't be patronizing you're not any better Matty Healy."

"'Course I am!"

She giggled, "I'm serious, he's—"

"And I'm not?" He tried to maintain a smile.

"C'mon, Matty. You treat me like shit. " When he snorted, she added, "At least James doesn't have a cocaine addiction."

Her words were like a gunshot to his chest, heavy and painful. He prayed that his face show it but then her lighthearted smile faded. Her gaze looking on him as she realised the wound she had caused and then her eyes fell closed.

The air in the room thickened into haze that they both could easily choke on. Matty Healy let his gaze wander as he tried to ignore the hollow feeling beneath his ribs.

His throat started working again, Matty focused on the empty bottle between them.

"Yeah." He whispered.

Her mouth opened, but the apology in her brown eyes remained silent on her tongue.

"I'm gonna, erm..." Matty said standing up feeling his legs starting to shaky—"get some water."

"Sure. "

Matty Healy's pulse was so loud in his ears that he needed to actually focus on not dropping the glass in the sink. After gulping down several mouthfuls of water, he looked around to find her eyes on him — as he moved back to the armchair, her stare was unrelenting. She seemed oblivious to the ash about to fall from the end of her fag.

When he sank back into the armchair, her brows puckered like she couldn't figure out how to stop the bleeding. Matty  hated that look.

"I should—I should head home," He blurted. "S'late. I have... music stuff to do tomorrow."

She nodded carefully, and for God's sake Frankie still wouldn't look away. "Okay."

Smacking hi lips together, Matty shoved the lighter into his pocket and was halfway to the door before her voiced stopped her.

"Matt, wait!"

He turned so fast that his vision spun. "Yeah?"

Matty saw her standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. "Thanks for tonight, you probably came cause you thought we were gonna fuck. I honestly kind of did too... I guess that didn't happen ."

Blinking hard, Matty strained another smile—this one nearly painful.

"You know I don't mind." He shrugged and added as cheekily as Matty posible could manage, "Besides, I get wine out of it."

She grinned too, wide enough to crinkle the corners of her eyes. "See you soon?" He smiled back in spite of everything that was happening at the moment. "Sure."

Hey I was in a two month vacation with my best friend but I'm back don't worry!! xoxo