Even Now

Even Now Prologue

Disclaimer: Standard applied

Summary: Autumn last year I was rejected. My boyfriend fell in love with another girl. The man who rejected me is still my boyfriend even now, and the girl he loves is still my best friend. And even now they still love each other.

Note:

Past/Thought

Present

PROLOGUE

He looked at me, the way how he had been looking at me lately. He didn't know it of course, but the way he looked at me, it hurt me a lot. He did not have to say anything just with that look it told me everything. I swallowed and forced a smile, he didn't smile back at me. I knew where conversation would lead to, I just pretended that I didn't know. Well, I didn't want to know.

I bit my lower lip, harder than usual. I realized that I hurt my own lip when I tasted the tangy flavor of my own blood. I didn't care. My hands clenched on the skirt I wore. We sat face to face and yet not talked about anything. His black coffee and my milk tea frozen since long time ago. I wondered how long we had been sitting here. I could hear the sound of the crowd around us, it was like we were the only ones who sat still without saying anything. I really didn't like it.

I took a deep breath, trying to ease the pain in my chest. I couldn't remember the last time we spent some time in a terrace cafe like this. Lately he'd been busy, and I knew the reason why. I shivered a little when the autumn breeze blew through my body. I had a scarf around my neck but it didn't help much. He narrowed his eyes to see me, I could see some worry on his handsome face.

"Are you okay?"

Slowly I nodded my head and smiled, I could feel something in my throat that made it hard to speak, "Don't worry…"

"I think we better get going now, it's getting cold," he murmured as he stood up. His eyes didn't look at mine as he did so.

I sighed as he walked around the table to reach me. He helped me to readjust my scarf and he took my hand to help me stand up. Again, he acted like this. I didn't know what to do anymore. Right after he left a tip on the table he took me by the hand to leave. He always treated me like this. Like a fragile Chinese porcelain that would break if he didn't treat it carefully. He was always like this.

He walked beside me and said nothing. I stole a glance at him. He had changed a lot. I'd known him for twelve years, God that was a long time. I knew what he was thinking , I knew he was struggling against his own thoughts and feeling to tell me what had been on his mind until now. I sighed secretly thinking he was too kind for his own good. This man would never have heart to break me.

He didn't know but he'd already broken me.

-"I love you…."

I had known since last week, when I accidentally overheard him confessed, that this day would come —the day where he would be honest to his own feeling. It hurt to think about it, so I closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about anything that would only bresk my heart worse.

-"But I… I can't, I'm sorry…"

-"I understand…"

The conversation had happened last week but I just couldn't forget it. I wasn' t suppose to hear that, but I did. I can't forget it—the way she looked at him, how he clenched his fist as she gave him her answer, and the emptiness I felt as they looked at each other. I couldn't keep pretending anymore.

I took a deep breath. I had to face it, sooner or later it would happen. If I could choose, I actually wanted it to happen fast. Like ripping off a bandage—you do it quickly so it would hurt less.