Even Now

Even Now - Chapter 19 "Hatred"

Chapter 18 —Orihime—

"Hatred"

When my parents were dead, I felt nothing. I was too small at the time and I was not closed (or even loved) by my parents so when they died, I felt nothing. My brother wasn't cry either when our parents died. He hated them because they didn't love me. I didn't hate them, I just couldn't love them.

When Masaki-san died, I didn't understand what Ichigo felt. He thought, no matter how people said it wasn't like that, he was the one who caused her death. He blamed himself. Of course that wasn't true. I was so young back then and I didn't know anything about relationship between parents and their kids, but I knew, Masaki-san loved Ichigo so much. She would not hate Ichigo for anything. She would be happy to be able to protect him.

I remembered that day. Though I wanted to forget it, I just couldn't.

I was there with my brother. He picked me up from school that day and Masaki-san picked Ichigo up. I got fever so Sora gave me a piggy back. I saw it. I rest my chin on Sora's shoulder. I was sleepy and my eyes was half closed when I saw Ichigo ran after a puppy that tried to cross the road. A car, an SUV, black car... Too fast. Sora was calling Ichigo's name, some people were screaming, Masaki-san ran toward her son, Ichigo stood there with the puppy in his hands, I opened my eyes... Everything happened before I could say anything.

It was really noisy.

Sora ran, with me on his back, to where people were gathering. The driver was quickly called an ambulance and in few minutes I could hear the sirens. It was too noisy. Sora put me down to call Isshin-san. Too many people I couldn't see anything.

Too many people, too many noises, I just wanted to see him.

And I saw him.

He sat there with the puppy still in his arms. He was red. I never saw him that red. His eyes were wide opened, not far from him, Masaki-san who was also covered by red sticky liquid laid on the road. I called her name but she didn't move.

This morning Ichigo wore white t-shirt to school, but now the white t-shirt was no longer white.

He blamed himself, but I knew it wasn't his fault. It was her instinct as a mother, that was what Sora told me. If there was something happened to Ichigo, Masaki-san would never be able to forgive herself. Masaki-san would never regret to give her life to her son.

He hid it from me but I knew it, he still couldn't forgive himself.

He blamed himself, and actually he was not the only one.

That man was scary.I never disliked someone but this man gave me goosebumps. He was handsome and he looked somewhat delicate but the look in his eyes was full of anger. He hated Ichigo. I knew it. I just knew it. The first time I saw him, I knew I would never forget the way he looked at Ichigo.

He tried to hit Ichigo but Isshin-san stopped him. Isshin-san was a great man. He was sad because his beloved wife passed away but he knew better than to blame his son.

Ichigo stood next to me the whole time. He said nothing. I said nothing. He hold my hand and I could feel how much he wanted to be strong.

I stood next to him when the man talked to him.

His hair was brown and he wore glasses. Behind those glasses his eyes were red.

He said something about revenge. Ichigo said nothing.