Even Now

Even Now - Chapter 16 "Hearts, Truths, and Lies"

Chapter 16 —Ichigo—

"Hearts, Truths, and Lies"

Orihime's body had been really weak since she was born. She would easily fainted and fell sick and that had always been making her brother worry about her. Not only her brother, she had always made everyone around her worry, and she hated that more that the fact that she was sick itself.

Orihime's heart was also weak.

Sometime it beat so slow and faintly that I couldn't feel it.

It scared me.

Whenever she fainted, whenever she got a heart attack, whenever she got a fever, whenever she looked pale, I'd be scared.

Because she had been really weak she couldn't play like a normal kid, she couldn't join us playing softball or any activity that could make her tired. She would stay on the save side of the field, under the shadow of a big tree, watching us playing from a far. She never said anything but at the time like this I know she felt lonely. Usually I would approach her and sat next to her but she would shoo me away, telling me that she loves seeing me playing.

She would smile while watching us played.

I loved to see her smile whenever I scored for my team. That was the reason why I had always been trying so hard to win every game I played, only to see her smile.

Her smile was my treasure.

She was my treasure.

When I asked her to be my girlfriend that was just about time. I didn't plan to say it. I knew she loved me and she knew I did too. There were no flowers, no chocolate candies or love poems. I was never a kind of Mr. Romantic. I kissed her, I hugged her, I told her I love her, I made love to her, but never once did I tell her how she actually meant world to me.

She told me that she'd rather to die than to break up with me.

I had never told her how much I felt the same.

She didn't know, how much it broke my heart when I decided to left her, when I decided to love someone else.

She was my treasure and I had done a big mistake by trying to walk away from her.

I knew this sounded weird but I am grateful that she didn't let me go.

Last autumn I had tried to walk away from her, to save her from myself—to save myself from breaking my own treasure—but I was never able to save her, in the end it was her who saved me again. She saved me from doing the most stupid thing in this lifetime of mine.

"Orihime, where do you want to go this Christmas Eve?"

That was winter last year, after what had happened last fall our relationship was never the same. She drew a line from me, she wouldn't let me know about what was in her head. I had been trying to act like nothing had happened because I realized I had hurt her by trying to leave her but she thought I did that because I pitied her.

I tried so hard to let her know that I was sorry.

She shook her head and mouthed an inaudible 'no'. She didn't smile and she didn't look at me.

"Orihime, look at me."

She didn't look at me.

"Hime…"

She stood up and walked out of the room leaving me alone.

It broke my heart.

If this was what she felt when I tried to walk away from then it was hurt so badly.