Paralyzed (boyxboy)

SIX

"If it really was him... why do you think he would come to me?"

Dr. West eyed me for a long moment before answering.

"It isn't him though, Richard."

I looked away, trying to hide how my cheeks heated at her knowing tone.

"I know," I said. "But if it was..."

Another long moment passed.

"I feel like you have an answer in your head already," she said with a small smile.

I swallowed, unsure if I should go on. Then again, if there was any place to be open it was supposed to be with your therapist, right?

"The way he--the way he died--it was violent, right?"

Dr. West nodded.

"I read it in the papers," she admitted. "No one would want a loved one to pass like that."

I blinked and had to look away again, fighting to remain focused and not be derailed by my emotions again.

"That's not the point though," I said. "He died in a violent way and that's what they say keeps someone here. That's what everyone says."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone online," I said.

She nodded.

"You've been researching whether he could really still be here?"

I unconsciously touched my wrists, wondering if I should tell her.

"There are a lot of people out there that believe in this stuff," I said, carefully. "A lot of people have first hand stories."

"But how do you know that they aren't just stories?" Dr. West asked. "Especially through the internet."

I shrugged.

"I didn't say I believe it," I said, back-tracking. "It just got me wondering, if he did come back, what would he come to me for? Like, do we have unfinished business? Or does he want revenge? But then, if that was the case, why hasn't he done anything other than stare at me, yet?"

I caught Dr. West's gaze and immediately realized my mistake.

"If he was coming back, that is, not that he already is..." I said, quickly.

Dr. West seemed to consider whether to address the slip of my tongue and I bit it to remain silent while I waited.

"So you believe you two have unfinished business?" she finally asked.

Sighing with relief, I nodded.

"I guess so," I said. "It's the only thing that really makes any sense."

"You were friends for many years," Dr. West said. "Do you really think that he expected or wanted something from you enough to come back from the grave?"

I shrugged, mind flying to the obvious answer, guilt twisting in me again.

"What is it?" Dr. West asked, gently.

"Nothing," I said.

Silence fell over us and Dr. West didn't break it, waiting patiently.

I sighed heavily. I could feel my cheeks heating even before I said a word.

"He--One time in eleventh grade, we were walking home from school..."

I didn't know how to say it. After the fact, I'd completely ignored that it had ever happened--until Evander passed away of course, at which point, that day became a glaring mistake that I couldn't forget.