Nightingale (Sequel to Solider Boy)

Twenty-Four

Melody wasn't prone to stressing out. However, she was only human and though she was quiet excellent at tuning out of her own feelings, she didn't do that all of the time. And so, she, like everyone else could experience stress and that had happened today. The idea of being caught naked-no matter what she was doing, was an experience Melody found incredibly stressful. Thankfully though, endorphins were a great way to calm down and now, she felt relaxed and comfortable as she laid across James's couch, her legs stretched out carelessly in his lap, her damp hair curling around her neck. I'll have to look in a mirror before I go anywhere, she thought. Might have a few new bruises. Not that she minded them, but still, awkward questions were things she preferred to avoid when possible.

"Melody?" James's gravely voice made her smile. She loved his voice. The familiar, ragged quality made his words wash over her like a caress.

"Yeah?"

"It was Steve at the door earlier, he was looking for you."

"Oh? Did he say why?" She hoped he wasn't going to attempt at a bonding exercise. Steve had earlier, voiced the hope of trying to get along with her better, for Sharon's sake. While she appreciated the sentiment, she had a three days left in Wakanda and Melody knew exactly how she preferred to spend that time. 

"He said he had something he wanted to run by you, didn't say what so I assume it was about me."

"I'll listen to what he has to say,"  she promised. "What took you so long to tell me what that was all about?" 

She saw James grin back at her. "I was busy. You're not mad are you?"

Melody sighed, remembering exactly what "busy" meant and her toes curled involuntarily as the memory flitted across her mind. That would be something she'd hold onto when she returned to New York. "No, I think I'll let you off the hook."

"Great," she heard James's laugh as her eyes closed again. 

James's fingers began to trace over her leg, drawing meaningless lines into her skin. "You're not leaving yet are you?" there was something heavy in his tone and Melody opened her eyes, no longer relaxed but not stressed. She was simply alert and more acutely aware of her surroundings.

"James," she asked, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," Melody said without missing a beat. Brushing her hair back she sat up right and propped her elbow on the back rest of the couch. "Talk to me."

James still wouldn't look at her-a sure sign that something was bothering him. "I had to lie to Steve about where you where."

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't like lying to him. He's my friend."

Melody felt ice prick her heart. She could see where this conversation was going and it sent a cold feeling down her spine, but she saw no way to stop it. Don't do this, she thought helplessly. Please don't do this.

"I want tell him about you," James said and this time he looked at her. His blue eyes were impossibly warm despite the cool color. James's hand sought hers, his fingers like ice. "I know it'll be a bit hard for him to get used the idea," he gave her an apologetic smile, "and I know Sharon might try to shoot me, but I still think we should tell them. I hate sneaking around like this. It's like were ashamed of doing something wrong, but that's not what this is. We're not wrong."

He squeezed her hand and Melody felt her heart fracture in her chest. "We're not wrong," she agreed, throat tight. "But I don't think we should say anything."

"Melody," James said gently. "It won't be that bad. We don't have to tell them exactly how this happened, we just have to tell them that it happened and that we love each other." 

Melody looked away from him, feeling the broken bits of her heart claw their way up her throat. "There's no point."

"Excuse me?"

"I go back to New York in a week" she said, voice thick as she drew her knees up to her chest. "What's the point of causing all that stress and anger when I'll be gone in seventy-two hours? Is that really how you want to spend our time together?"  

James's smile faded a little at the reminder of her imminent departure. "Yeah, but just because you'll be back in New York doesn't mean I'll stop loving you." He reached for her again, his fingers curling around her chin and turning her face towards him. His smile was back and gentle expression broke Melody's heart even further. 

"And it's not like last time either," he continued. "You know where I am now. And you know that you're welcome here, you have T'challa's number now, don't you?"

"I do," she said slowly, as tears warmed her eyes. "He gave it to me after the bus crash, but I won't be using it." 

James stopped smiling. "Why not?"

Melody turned her head. She couldn't bear to see his face when she said this. "Because I'm not coming back." 

"No one is going to track you here. As far as anyone is aware, I went missing in Siberia." James's cold hand rested on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

"Your life is here," she said softly. "Mine is in New York."

"I would never ask you to give up your job," James said instantly. "You know that." 

"I know that," she willed herself to look at James, needing him to understand. This had nothing to do with her career, it had everything to do with how impossible the situation still was. "But that's not what I'm talking about."

He squeezed her hand. "What's wrong?"

"Where can this go? 'she asked, her throat tight. "How do I keep explaining to my coworkers why they never see my boyfriend? Why he's never home on leave? Should I just pretend your dead and I'm a widow and hope no one digs too deep so they don't realize it's a fake name? How do I explain my absences when I come back? If I can only get a two week vacation every year, is that something we can do? See each other for fourteen days out of three hundred and sixty-five and have that be enough? Is that a life?" 

 "I don't know" James said softly for her and a shiver traveled down her spine as their eyes met.

"Neither do I," she agreed, tears sliding down slowly down her face. "I can't come back because I'm not strong enough to keep saying goodbye to you." 

James pulled her closer and she let  him, her head on his shoulder. "Don't cry," he whispered. "It's okay." 

"There is nothing about this that is okay."  James's didn't answer and Melody was glad for it, she didn't want to talk anymore. She just wanted to live in her other world a little while longer before she had to say goodbye to it-say goodbye to him, for good. 

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