Diary of a schizophrenic

Entry Eight

5.10.2013

Dear Diary,

Today, I was on my way to buy myself some ginger tea from the little beverage stand on the campus when I bumped into Jake. He noticed me the second I noticed him. A smile spread across his pale features as his tall frame made its way towards me.  

''Well, if it isn't Keira''

''Well, I don't want to play this game'' I laughed making it seem as a joke. It wasn't, really. 

He laughed and looked down at the steaming cup of coffee laced between his slender fingers. 

'‘So are you free on Friday night because...ugh.... there’s this party a friend of mine’s throwing, and I was hoping you would come’', even though he always seemed annoyingly confident, I could sense he was a little nervous. Did I...do I....make him nervous? 

Ha. That makes me feel sartirical. 

'‘I am not a party person'' I thought for a second ''What makes this party special?’'

 He shot me one of these sexy grins and said ''You're presence would make this party pretty special''.

I laughed panickly at that. It almost hurt how cliche he was.  

''I'll have to think about it'' I said at last.

‘'Okay but tell me as soon as possible’' he accented the 'soon' and then turned around, walking towards the Uni entrance. 

 I believe that was the only remotely interesting thing that happened to me today. As I already wrote before, my life is impossibly boring but the thought of going to a party was swimming in my mind all day. Should I? This is like the perfect opportunity to meet new people but it is not my kind of opportunity. 

I did not know Jake at all so how can I know what kind of people he hangs out with? Doubt was the overpowering emotion sending my instinct on a bloody roller coaster. I was never known for being a daredevil but maybe I should try being a little rebellious. At least this once. Any newbie college student would love nothing more than to be invited to a party in the first month they are here. I think we've established the point that I am not a normal college student. This is a nightmare. Why must this be so hard? In a way I don't want to hurt Jake by saying no. I know he means well, at least I hope so. Dang it, there goes the not-knowing thing again. I can't be this selfish and lying about my intentions is a step back from a new start. I need to suck up all the bad-gut feelings I am currently absorbing and do something for someone else this once. 

I am going to the party, for real.