Colors From The Fallen Raindrops

My Iron Heart

I notice for a while that many people, especially those who I know, are asking me these questions:

1. Why am I snobbish?

2. Why I am always alone? (All By Myself)

3. Am I Courting Someone?

Well, The answer might be the title of this blog, I HAVE AN IRON HEART.

When I entered college, one word came into my mind, “INDIVIDUALITY”. Let’s face it, college is one last step towards reality. “SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST” as they say. Honestly, I don’t hang out with people or my classmates and schoolmates that much because I don’t to end up being dependent again to those people who I really thought were trustworthy and supportive. Some people try to build an acquaintance just to get advantage of you and then leaves you if they got all that they needed. They forget you and then approaches you if they want something again. I’m not that kind of person that expects something in return but I don’t want those people who gives big and fake smiles and never appreciates me.

And because of these ideas, I end up alone and miserable. “NO MAN IS AN ISLAND” is really true. It’s very hard to cope to your surroundings. I thought I could stand by myself but I always crumble down.

EDUCATION is important for me. My father always told us that education is the one thing that cannot be taken away from you. I always try to get the good grades because I want people to see, especially who always criticize and judge me, that I AM SUCCESSFUL, that I AM GREATER than you and that I OVERPASSED ALL OF YOU. I want them to feel sorry for all that they did to me. Anyways, I got carried away, because I’m trying hard in studying, I have no love life. Yes, In my 18 years of existence, I’ve been a relationship with myself since birth. You might be thinking I’m homosexual but folks, if you think that way, you’re disgusting. I’m definitely straight. I’m had a few crushes in some girls during the past years but I just don’t have the guts to show it and I’m really picky when it comes in choosing the right girl or woman for me but I think once you tied the knot, there’s no turning back. I really want to be in a relationship so badly but in a serious one. I saw some girls who showed their interest to me but I cannot tell them personally that there not my type. I also tried flirting to a girl that I’m not sure if I really like but it end up worse and I left the girl expecting. I really get jealous when I see sweet couples doing romantic stuff. I don’t believe in destiny. I just believe that God create someone for me and I will met her in the right place and right time.

What’s my point? I HAVE AN IRON HEART. I want to be stronger so no one hurts me but at the same time, I realize that the iron covering my heart is DAMN HEAVY. Will you try to break it?