Where The Wild Things Go (Joshler AU)

Chapter 10- Guilt

~Josh~

Josh walks down a white hallway, and suddenly red splotches decorate the wall and the floor. The deep red contrasts the white background. Josh stares down at his hands, which were also red; the colour of blood. A deep cry fills the room, someone was in a lot of pain. He runs down the hallway, and discovers a room with no doors. A woman stands inside cradled in someone's arms, wailling and shaking. Beside her lies a bed, and some sort of figure underneath a white sheet. Josh opens his mouth to say something, but instead of words he lets out a shaky cry. Which only managed to accomplish one thing, getting the woman's attention. She straightens, and searches for the thing the noise came from. Once she spots Josh, she freezes and her eyes turn cold. 

"YOU MURDER!" She screams, spitting the words at him. Josh stumbles backwards, as if her glare had pushed him over. Before he can even run, the woman takes off and launches herself at him. She places her hands around his neck, holding them there as he coughs, and tries to break free of her grasp. Then everything turns black.

Josh gasps, and sits up his heart was so fast and his breathing was heavy. He had no doubt that the dream was about the guard he killed. He had no idea who the woman was though. He scratches his head, trying to make sense of the rest of it. His stomach grumbles and he decides that he should probably get something to eat. He turns and notices the other half of the tent was empty. Tyler had only brought one tent, so they had no choice but to share. He rubs his eyes, forcing the sleep out of them, and slips outside.

"I waited for you, in the spot where you said to wait..." Tyler sings, from outside the tent, he was adding a thick branch to the fire, he had started. The sky was beginning to turn light blue, it must be early morning. Tyler notices him and stops singing, "Good morning. I thought you'd never wake up." Josh smiles politely, and sits down on the grass. Feeding off the heat, from the fire.

"What are we doing today?" He wonders, he grabs a can set in front of him, and takes a handful of chickpeas, he warms them over the fire before popping a few in his mouth. It didn't taste very good, but it was better than starving. 

"Killing some monsters." Tyler responds, walking over to steal some chickpeas from Josh, then settling down beside him. "I think you should learn how to hunt, we are going to be here for a long time and will run out of food soon, and in case we lose each other I want you to be able to hunt for yourself." Josh nods, not really listening to what he said. Should he tell Tyler about his dream?  He strikes out the thought, they weren't close enough. But, then again, what would Tyler do with that information? Still, he wasn't sure. 

Tyler mumbles something and Josh nods. Then he gets up and runs inside their tent. After a few seconds he comes out with a few bows and an arrow. "Alright, the best way to use a bow is to shoot your kill right in the eye." Tyler explains. "Let's pack up, and while we're looking for monsters, I can teach you things." Josh nods, and they pack up everything, storing the tent and the rest of the bags inside Tyler's cart. Tyler grabs a bucket and fills it up by the stream, that they settled next to. He tosses the water over the flames, putting it out. 

They head North, down a dirty path. Tyler pulls out his monster finder, and Josh notices the time; 8:40. It's day three, he remembers. He was going to spend the rest of his life here; if he did live it's not like he would be able to leave without getting thrown in jail. Would they let people back in Zone 6, knowing there was an armed murder- possible murder- running around? The word possible was stuck in Josh's head. Possible. Possible. That's right, possible, he didn't know what happened to the guy, there is a chance he could be alive. The thought filled Josh with hope, he didn't want to have this guy's blood on his hands. He shouldn't have the shot the guy, in the first place. He could have just punched him- or at least have shot him in the leg. Although, he was holding a gun and he was scared, but that's no excuse.

Tyler says, something but Josh doesn't catch it.

"Huh?" Josh wonders. Tyler repeats what he said, Josh knows because he saw his mouth moving, not because he heard it. A movement behind Tyler catches his eye, then he notices him. The guard. His face is so pale, almost ghostly, and his eyes are just black pits. The white shirt he's wearing, begins turning a deep red- at his stomach. It's not real, Josh tells himself. It's just your imagination. He closes his eyes, and keeps repeating the thought in his head. 

Then a hand shakes him, and he hears a whisper "Josh? Josh, it's okay." But, it's not. Nothing's okay. Josh opens his eyes, hoping that the guy will disappear. 

As he does he hears a faint, "You did this." He did do this. Tyler doesn't question anything and Josh is thankful for that. He takes a few moments to collect himself, trying to forget about what happened. 

He never knew much about guilt, but he was sure this was it. His conscience was eating him up inside. This was different from anything bad he did before, this couldn't be forgiven. This wasn't stealing candy from a store, this was bigger and worse. Josh didn't even realize how loud his heartbeat was until after he stopped dwelling on the situation. His breathing was becoming calmer and even, he even tried to focus on it. Breath in. Breath. Breath in. Breath out.

"What was that about?" Tyler wonders after a while, his voice cracking. Josh faces Tyler, he owed him some explanation. He decides to explain his dream to him, his voice was rough and shaky and Josh hated how weak it made him look.