A Love Story that Never Was

How Could This Happen

So . . . I have had my cry.

I have vented to two of my best friends who would listen. First was ALDEN whom I always cry on and second was ELENA whom i haven't shared with this until after she told me she opened up the issue to HIM.

I still find myself stuck in my pain...

All right, think i gotta take a deep breath... I need to turn the corner.

Yeah, everyone is entitled to grieve for a time. It's the natural order of things. However, I must not remain in the valley of weeping. I'll find if I do, I'll drown everything but my sorrows.

Someone was responsible for ruining my yesterday, I still possess the power to be responsible for my tomorrows. I can rewrite the script and pick any ending I choose.

So, it is entirely up to me. Shall I choose to be hurt? Shall I choose JOY? Shall I choose new beginning? Or choose to live life to the fullest again. Without him? Without the pain. Without the memories...

I think I couldn't.

Though healing is imminent, the process of restoration cannot be avoided. The journey to the mountaintop is always preceded by a walk through the valley. It is the way of the cross. There is no avoiding it, for all who pass this way must take this course.

Well, I am just allowing myself to feel. Allowing myself to cry to grieve over the loss of friendship. Allowing myself to be angry.

But I realized I should not allow myself to be separated from the ONE who will never leave me or forsake me. If ever there was a time to draw close to God, I think it is now.

I just miss everything about us. I feel like I haven't restored myself. There is still this something that I wish I had, wish I could have, wish I could have not done. If only I could turn back the time and said NOTHING, maybe I'd be more content and fulfilled.

Sooner, I'd leave. If that happens, time will come, this pain I have will vanish.

And when I am alone, I want to leave NOW...