A Love Story that Never Was

Chapter 2

Shattered Dreams.

Sometimes, life doesn't happen the way that we have imagined it. Things reel out of control. Surprise twists and turns in the journey of life cause us to feel violated, robbed of our own good intentions. Our chance at love is snatched prematurely from our hands, due either to our own choices - or someone else's.

Regret can leave us despairing, stripped of our joy and our peace, feeling unending despondency. Hopes for a better tomorrow are wrenched from our hearts as others rationalize why we should be able to move on. Those responsible for our paralysis continue on without a backward glance, never realizing the depths of the pain they've caused.

Sometimes my life has gotten beyond my reach, and my dreams have been scattered to the wind. I despair over the lost pieces of my heart. I struggle to repair my shattered spirit. There are so many fragments, some too small to find. It seems impossible to put it all back together.

I need somebody to help me. I am confused by the voices of others. I am being pulled between the opposing counsel of my heart and the well-meaning advice of the loved ones who surround me. My pain overwhelms me.Who could really know the extent of my suffering? Who can read between the lines of my tears and answer me?

Minsan, gusto ko na rin mag give up. I am worn and weary and fresh out of hope. Mahirap din pala na iniiwasan ka, ini ignore ka, ni hindi sa 'yo tumitingin na, na parang you don't exist. 'Yung feeling na, HEY I AM HERE! I AM ALIVE! Pero wala eh. I have suffered the upheaval of my heart time and time again, and I NO LONGER HAVE THE CAPACITY TO MOVE ON. I am rooted in my pain. I FEEL UNABLE TO FORGIVE, FORGET, or RELEASE MY DISAPPOINTMENT.

Part of me is afraid to TRUST everything and everyone with my future. My present circumstances make it difficult for me to believe there is still hope. Kasi I held on to ***'s promise that nothing's gonna change. BUT IT IS THE OPPOSITE.

Nothing hurts more than the betrayal of someone you have considered SPECIAL. The damage can be deep and extensive. Whether the offense is an act of resentment, rejection, shock, inconsideration, my heart is left bleeding. The sting of my suffering, as sharp and sudden as a paper cut, causes me to squeeze the place of my pain and pray for the throbbing to stop. But the more I press, the deeper the ache goes. I am becoming slave to my pain. Toiling to understand the mystery of his motives only sets me up for greater bondage.

Hindi ko pa rin maintindihan why I have been treated this way? I have so many unanswered questions. Why did this happen? The pain of rejection and betrayal is overwhelming and the motives are unclear. When will I right this situation?