Wow Jaiden can skateboard! Why didn't she ever tell me? she knew I skated. We could've skated together.
I wonder why she never told me.
The next day:
I got my astronomy test back.
Hey c- I guess i'm smarter than I think I am.
I mouthed to Jaiden across the room 'what'd you get?'
See when you're friends for such a long time with someone, and your teachers know you are friends, they put you on the opposite sides of the classroom. can you relate? So now I guess were one of those friends/couples that can lip read and pass notes like pros.
'B-' she mouthed holding up her paper.
We gave each other a thumbs up.
Later at home(nighttime):
Do you ever just think random deep thoughts?
Especially before you go to bed..
I do.
I think of my fears, my dreams, the meaning of life and more.
You know how adults are always like 'what do teenagers even think about?,'
the real question is 'honestly what dont we think about?'
Anyways back to fears: I have a few stereotypical fears but, what I really fear is oblivion. Which means I'm afraid of being forgotten. I want my life to mean something, I want to know who I am, and change someone's life in a positive way.
I don't want to grow up to be one of those adults who do their job to make a living and end up miserable so they drink their life away. I want to do whatever it takes to make sure I'm happy. I want to make music, feel famous, i want to settle down and have a family. I want to live. To live the life Im meant to.
I think of the meaning of song lyrics. I wonder how they make us feel understood? Why it's such an amazing feeling to just stop & listen? I guess words are powerful and music is even more powerful, like love
I think of the calm ocean. Deeper than it appears. I think of all the creatures living their life's. How there is so much more going on than we can see.
Basically all I ever think about is...
I think about sex.
I think about cars.
I think about my family.
I think about my friends.
I think about money.
I think about my future.
I think about my fears.
I think of things to do.
I think about music.
I think about school.
I think about things that make me laugh.
I think about every good thing that can happen and play it out in my head.
I think about every bad thing that can happen to me.
I think about all the bad things that have happened to me.
I even think of my name, and how I can never find it on one of those damn keychains at giftshops.
I think of all the things I want to do.
Like a bucket list!
I think of all the places I want to travel.
I think of every girl who's ever broken my heart.
It's all very random.
I know, I know. Like I said before, there is nothing teenagers don't think about, there are no filters in our brains, we either block it out, dont say most of what were thinking, or both.
I sat like that and thought while falling asleep to adventure time on my tv and Zuni in my arms purring obnoxiously loud but I still managed to fall asleep.
•Goodnight.😴.•
Hey guys, have you seen keatons new cover of cardiac arrest? It's one of my favorite songs!! I was like how did keaton discover it? wow super cool!!!
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Hope you had a great day!! hope you liked this chapter ok:) thanks for reading! please comment!!! and please vote?
Goodnight, xo paisley😚
