Smosh one shots {REQUESTS OPEN}

•{no ship}• Boze

Some of you are looking at this like its the craziest shit you've ever seen (or maybe not) cuz like this is a oneshots book. But I'm feeling down so this is a down story nothing to bad just very depressing. so just bare with me I'm just feeling very down. I'll get back into the swing of things soon. That is all.

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(Boze)

It hurt seeing him with her. Yeah he was never mine but I thought maybe, possibly, hopefully he felt the same. Its impossible to see and hear things with out thinking of him. It hurt knowing that I was stupid enough to even think that he could be mine. He could never like me.

I smiled for the cameras and the people but being around him and seeing him with her made everything worse. I told him about my feelings. Not directly, of course, I was too nervous. I wrote him a note and gave it to him. He read it I know he did. But he disregarded my feelings and moved on with out me. He gave no mind to how I felt.

He was like my best friend. I of course had other friends but we talked everyday and played around like we were friends. Or could maybe be more. Maybe I gave myself a false sense of hope. Or maybe he was just toying with me knowing how easy I could fall for him. No, he's too nice. He'd never do something like that. Not intentionally at least.

Was he just oblivious to how I felt til I wrote the note? Or maybe he knew but he wanted me to say something. I think about it all the time. Its bad for me but I do. Was he intending to hurt me? He never hangs out anymore.

I couldn't play the games we played together anymore without thinking of him. Or listen to some of the songs we both liked. Too many memories. The memories although sweet hurt. Bittersweet I guess. I beat myself up over him. I didn't do anything.

I think too much about it and ask myself the same questions expecting an answer from myself. I could only get them if I asked him but I couldn't do that. He moved on. He probably doesn't even think about it anymore. He doesn't even know it still hurts even though this happened almost 3 months ago. Did he know it hurt at first even?

Everytime I think about it I remind myself that he wasn't mine. He never was never will be and there's no use crying and hurting over something that never was nor will be mine. But that only makes it worst. I wish I could just forget all of it. No memory means no hurt. I sigh and go to bed. I've got an early morning.

Note: i finished this yesterday and just never posted it. I wrote it as Boze because boze is literally me and if I could choose one female person that I relate to on a personal/emotional level it would probably be boze. I just see my self in her I guess.

Anyways I just can't stop thinking of the guy I liked last year (and currently) and what I said in there are all true feelings I feel about this guy and the situation. The note thing with how I felt is true. The only thing not true about it is that as far ad I know of he does not have a girlfriend.

I didn't specify a guy in the story if you noticed because its not a ship story so I decided it should just be whoever you ship Boze with. That was the whole idea.

Hope that you guys liked it although it was sad I like to write and vent when I'm upset and/or anxious so sometimes just writing here or in my notes on my phone helps me even if I don't intend on sharing. Its good to get those feelings out somewhere.

No question today. Sorry babes.

K bye💕