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———
It was a small fire. Who would have thought that it would cost a lifetime? Time didn't let him forget those awful memories. Just like how he treasured the good ones, it didn't fade. It comes along like a package.
Judge didn't mind.
Ang mga alaalang iyon ang gusto niyang balikan. Kahit katumbas man nito ang pagbalik sa mga masasakit na alaalang gusto niyang kalimutan. Sa totoo lang, napakasakit. Sa tuwing naaalala niya ang matamis na ngiti ng ina. Hindi niya mapigiling isipin ang mga luha nito noong unti-unti itong sinusunog ng apoy. Sa tuwing naririnig ang mahinhing halakhak ng ina kasabay lamang nito ang pag-alala niya sa malakas na sigaw nito noong gabing iyon.
"Judge!" She screamed.
"Judge, anak! Umalis ka na!"
It was agonizing and dreadful, yet it wasn't for her. It was for her child. Nakita niyang nakatayo lamang ang labing-apat na taong binatilyo sa gitna ng kwarto. Hindi alintana nito ang nakapalibot na apoy. Ramdam ng balat nito ang init at langhap nito ang simoy ng marahas at itim na usok, ngunit kahit ganoon nagawa pa rin nitong itaas ang kamay para abotin ang malayang apoy.
--
After wasting his time by attending the shitty dinner, he went home but instantly caught up in RORO. He emptied two bottles of soju and fell asleep. It was four in the morning when he woke. He was wasted, but managed a quick stroll.
"Judge?" Lyca whispered. "What are you d-doing?"
That soft voice made him flinch and pulled him out from his deep thoughts. The dark skies and heavy clouds covered his pupils. Anytime soon it would rain just like how he badly wanted to cry. The skies were mimicking his emotions.
Somehow, Judge's feet brought him all the way up on the ledge of a bridge. He was sitting on the cold surface while nursing an empty bottle of liver-killing liquid in his hand. In lackadaisical manner, he was bobbing his head as if hearing an imaginary beat in it. After he tires himself, he instantly stood up on the ledge, nonchalant of the overwhelming view below.
That sudden bold move forced a huge gasp out from Lyca's lips. The early morning breeze was harsh. It disheveled her curls making a messy bird's nest out from her hair. Nagbabadya rin ang pagbuhos ng ulan, ngunit nanatili ang mga mata ni Lyca kay Judge. Nakapaskil sa mukha nito ang isang malungkot na ngiti.
"Lyca..." he whispered but enough for her ears to hear.
"J-judge... Can you please c-come down? Bumaba ka na riyan," she convinced him slowly. "After that, we could talk 'kay?"
"W-why am fucking I miserable? Everyone seems fine. I believe they moved on. Alam mo 'yon nakalimutan na nila lahat. Samantalang ako ay hindi. Hindi ko kaya," he said. "Believe me, I badly want to forget those memories too, yet I can't. Pakiramdam ko kasi wala akong karapatang gawin 'yon. Of all the people who's asking for peace of mind, I should be ashamed for asking one because I don't deserve it."
