Can I trust you? (Shacam)

Chapter 7

Cammie POV

Shannon explained to me what happened in the locker room, and it makes me angry, but not with her. She can see that I'm pissed because she says, "Cam, babe, I want you. Not her. I swear." She pulls me in close to her as if she wants to kiss me but isn't sure if I want her to. 

"Shan I'm not mad at you, you did the right thing." She half smiles at me. "You just called me babe," I smirk. 

"So what? You are a babe." She winks at me. Damn she's smooth. She pulls me in for a kiss and I smile against her lips. We hear the warning bell ring and it ruins our moment, we head back to class.

After school, Shannon drives me home. She has one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my thigh. I pull up the middle console and slide over to sit next to her. I start kissing her jawline as she drives, and it makes her crazy. "Cam what are you doing," she says trying to refrain from kissing me back and getting in an accident. 

"Well you looked super hot and I really wanted to kiss you, so I am." I smile against her neck and continue giving her soft kisses. 

"Um.. yeah.. uh how bout we go to my apartment?" She suggests, I can tell she's turned on. I nod as she pulls onto her road instead of mine. The second she puts the truck in park she turns and connects our lips. "We should, maybe, go inside," she says between kisses. I nod again, she takes my hand and leads me in.

Shannon POV

Cam kept kissing me on the way home, and I could barely contain myself. I take her up to my bedroom when we get inside. I want to have sex with her, but I'm worried. I have been with plenty of girls, but if she hasn't been with anyone, this isn't how I want her first time to be. Plus, we haven't talked about our dating histories. I think she should know before we sleep together.

We get into my room and she pushes me up against the wall and kisses me, harder this time. She tries to deepen it and I'm a little hesitant but I let her. I pick her up and take her to the bed. When I lay her down, I pull away for a second.

I hesitate to kiss her again, but I don't think it should go any further before we talk. "Cam," I say as I sit her up, "is.. uh.. is this your first time?" That came out a little awkward, I scratched the back of my neck. 

She nervous laughs, "haha.. uh, yeah kinda. Why?" Part of me was hoping it wasn't because it would make telling her about my past easier, but I'm glad it was because now I can make it special for her.

"Listen, okay" I get nervous and I can tell she's worried what I'm about to say. "We never really talked about our pasts with each other. And this is your first time, I want it to be special for you." 

She looks at me with caring eyes. "Okay, so, lets talk about our pasts now." I'm worried about how she will react when I tell her. I really like her, and I don't want to ruin anything.

"Cammie. I don't want to change how you think of me," she nods indicating me to go on, "when I was a freshman I was in my first relationship with a girl, her name was Jordan. We weren't out when we started dating, but I fell in love with her and I decided to come out. I didn't tell anyone about us dating, because she wasn't ready, but people found out and she left me. We dated for a year and a half and the end of sophomore year she broke up with me because she was mad at me for coming out before her." Cammie looks at me a little sad but also a little jealous that I got choked up talking about another girl. "After that, I was a mess. I came unhinged a little bit and I started, uh.. like, sleeping around, I guess." I scratch the back of my neck again and look away. I feel her tense up a little bit, but she doesn't say anything.

"I'm not proud of it, but I lost myself there for a while. Ally and Stevie had just started dating, and I felt alone. So I did that. Then Logan and I started getting closer, and we were always around Ally and Stevie so we just kind of ended up dating. It wasn't some big romantic thing between us, or with any of the girls. This is the first time I've felt anything real since Jordan," I look at her longingly now and she seems a little distant. I understand why.

"Shan I-" she cuts herself off, "it's in the past right?" She says, but I can tell it bothers her still. 

"Yes, Cammie, of course." I say almost pleadingly, "that person is long gone. I want you, and only you. It just didn't feel right going any further with you until you knew." 

She forces a smile and kisses my cheek. "Okay Shan," she says with a sad smile. 

"Something's wrong. I can tell you aren't looking at me the same anymore." I say. 

"Shannon I just- before I moved here I was one of those girls. Not one that slept around but one that got played and it hurt like hell. I just don't want it to happen again, and I don't want to believe that you could do that to someone." 

She's right, "Cammie I can prove to you that I'm not that person anymore," is all I can say.