Can I trust you? (Shacam)

Chapter 19

Cammie POV

I saw Shannon smiling at her phone today in math class. I wonder if she has started talking to anyone. I hope not, I'm still holding out for her to give me another chance. I'm thinking about calling her later on, I miss her voice. I miss everything. I just want to know if she still thinks of me. I have been so depressed since we broke up. I haven't talked to anyone really, except Stevie.

Math was our last class of the day, and I wanted to call her after. She looked like she was in a hurry to get somewhere when she left, though, so I decided to wait a couple hours. She won't answer if she's busy.

I waited three hours, but it literally felt like three years. Each ring that passed felt like another hour. Sure enough, no answer. Her voice comes over the phone and for a second I think it's actually her, but it's just her voicemail. It's still nice to hear her voice in my hears, even if it's not real.

I pace around my room after she doesn't answer, contemplating if I should just go to her apartment or not. It's been a month. One long, agonizing month of not having her. Isn't that enough time? I mean can't we at least talk about it now? After nearly pacing a hole in my bedroom floor, I talk myself into it. "Fuck it," I say to myself as I grab my keys and head out the door.

I pull up and her truck is parked outside, so that's a good sign. There aren't any cars that I don't recognize, so that's another good sign. I make my way up to her door and hesitate before I knock. I don't want to face rejection, especially from Shannon. But I can't let that fear stop me from at least trying. Before I even realize it, my fist makes contact with the door. No going back now.

"Oh I um- I'm sorry, I uh- I don't know what I'm doing." My heart drops when I see another girl in her apartment. She has a lot of luggage with her. Is Shannon seeing someone new? Does she have a sister I don't know about?

"Um Cam, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to return your call," she scratches the back of her neck.

"No, it's fine. This is clearly a bad time." I say gesturing towards the girl standing in Shannon's living room.

"Oh no, this is- It's a long story. What are you doing here Cammie?" Shannon asks, she doesn't sound mad just genuinely curious. I don't really know why I'm here. I just want to talk to her, but I don't want to do it in front of this random girl.

I try my hardest not to sound as jealous as I am, "can we talk somewhere. In private."

She's hesitant but she nods and grabs her keys. "I'll be back in a few Jordan, make yourself at home."

Jordan. Where have I heard that name before?

It was a silent walk to the parking lot. She doesn't open the door for me like she always used to. We get in and she starts the truck and begins to drive around, without any real destination.

"I miss you Shannon," I blurt out.

"I miss you, too Cam, but you hurt me." She still sounds sad and that breaks my heart. We end up parking near a bridge and watch as the sun disappears into the horizon.

"Not that you don't have every right to be, but are you seeing someone new?" I am sure she heard my voice crack as I said the last part.

"No, I can't just move on that fast," she says as if it was a stupid question.

I let out a sigh of relief, "I want to try again, Shannon. I still love you so much and I hate myself for what I did to you. I just want a chance to make that right," I say, begging.

"It's not that easy. We can't just jump back in again," she says.

"I know, but can we at least start as friends again? At the very least."

She thinks for a second and then nods slowly. "Yeah I guess we can do that," she says, forcing a slight smile. My heart does a million flips. I know it's not exactly what I hoped but I get to be in Shannon's life again and that's all I really wanted. I need to know if there can ever be more though, if I have any chance. Because I don't know if I could be friends with her knowing that's all we'll ever be.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me, just to be back in your life again. But be honest with me, is there any chance that it could ever be more again? Because I don't know if I can live with just being your friend forever." Part of me immediately regrets even asking because of how selfish it sounded, but before I even have the chance to take it back she interrupts.

"I can't tell you for sure that I will get back with you, but I'm also not opposed. I loved what we had, and I would love to get it back. But trusting you is the first step." I silently jump up and down inside. I agree with her and we wrap up the conversation. I smile out the window as she pulls out of the parking lot and makes her way back to her apartment. Her apartment. Where that mysterious girl is staying. My smile fades and I contemplate asking her, but I think it would be crossing a line. She told me she isn't seeing anyone, so we can cross girlfriend off the list. Who the hell could this girl be?

We got back to her apartment and I hoped that she would invite me in, but I wasn't surprised when she didn't. I smiled as she came to my door and opened it for me. Before walking over to my car, I pulled Shannon in for a hug that she hesitantly accepted. I missed her so much. I missed the way she smelled.

She pulled away first, "I'll see you Monday, Cam," she smiled.

I nodded, "hey maybe we could have lunch or something this weekend?"

She slowly nodded, "uh, yeah sure, just text me." She half smiled and walked inside. Words can't explain how happy I am to be back in her life. I can tell that she has reservations about even being friends again, but I'm not going to let that stop anything. I want her back and I'm not going to stop proving to her that she can trust me again.