I walked into ahyiah's room and just lay there on her bed. I dont know why but in this house Alyiah is the one I could talk to the most. I can talk to kain as well but for him its usually balh blah blah thats coming out of my mouth. typical. anyway. alyiah is not here. shes with her boyfriend, who we by the way have not herd a name and or seen him. It's times like these that i feel worthless times like these when i feel like i'm such a bother. all I could feel is pain. all I coukd feel is emotions from the past and the present start to re serface. its times like these that I need to cut.
I grab a pen and draw 4 lines. some bigger then the other. I draw a bubble bath. with out the bubbles with really hot water. I stay in the tub for about 5 minutes but the pain is still there. I grab the shaving razor and start to break it. I finally get the blade and put it agenst my skin. the lines that where once blue are now driping with blood. I dont cry. the cuts dont hurt me any more. but now I broke the promise. I broke the promise I made to kain, sabrina, karina, maggi, and Alyiah. 7 years clean but time caught up with me bringing the pain and hurt from those years when all I could think of was death with it. and now I broke my promise.
"Angie in home!! where are you?" alyiah says loud enough to hear all over the house. but I dont answer.
"Angie!!! I kniw you are in there!!!!"
"in in the bathroom but ddont come in!!!"
"why? its a bath and you always draw the certin"
"how did you know it was a bath?"
"because if you where on the toilet you whould have said "im taking a shit" and if it was a shower I whould have heard the water. "
"oh okay just dont come in."
"to la-ANGIE!!!!!" shesays once she sees my wrist, "why whould you do that?!?!"
"I told you not to come in here!!!"
"oh angie, why?" she looks at me with pain in her eyes, it hearts to know that im the one making her up set.
at this point im crying uncontrollably with my hands on my face and the only words icould choke out where, "IM SO-SO-SORRY!!!"
onve I calmed down I cleaned my face with the water that is now cold and tell her words that hold a lot of feeling.
"im just so tired of pretending that im so happy all the time when im really not."
~♡~♥~♡~♥~♡~♥~♡~♥~♡~♥
okay so the real alyiah is readingthis now and she said its good. and I just want to thank her for the complament. btw this chapter is based on current events so yeah . . . sorry alyiah.
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The Pain Of Yesterday
Fanfiction"Baby, I just wanted to let you know that, just because you're hurting it's not the end, because after all, the the pain of yesterday, is the strength of today." «»«»«»«»«»«»«»«» This is based on me so if you're sensitive to the topic of de...
