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Nate wrapped his dark gray jacket around him tighter, tears sliding down his face. His phone kept buzzing. He knew who it was.

Nate remembered leaving his black jacket there (one of his favorites), and pretending that he forgot. Now, he was glad he left it there.

He still loved Mat, and he didn't regret anything that happened between them.

Pretending Mat wasn't part of his life wasn't gonna work, Nate knew, but he couldn't talk to his soulmate right now. Not when the wounds were fresh as they were.

Mat was usually calm and collected. This outburst had shocked Nate to the core. And Mat wishing Nate wasn't his soulmate... Nate shook the thoughts from his mind.

Sweat glistened on his forehead, although it was near the end of winter. Still cold.

The warm tears burned his cold face.

Nate slipped his hand out of his jacket pocket, he wiped his face.

Love felt like butterflies. It felt like happiness, all the time. It felt like nothing can hurt you.

Heartbreak killed the butterflies. It felt like the happiness was torn away from you. It felt like everything anyone said or did could hurt you.

Nate felt both those things at this point in time.

He wished he was with Mat. He wished they were snuggling on the couch, watching Mat's favorite movie, which he had begged the entire night to watch.

He wished the popcorn bowl in front of them was almost empty, and the movie had just started.

He wished Mat was begging him to go make more, promising he wouldn't play the movie without him.

That's what Nate wished.

He walked into his dark apartment. He threw off his jacket and flopped onto the couch, tears flowing freely.

He wrapped his pale arms around himself, trying to imagine it was Mat who was trying to cheer him up.

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