Cloverfield

21: Crack the ice

The history class started. Alison felt it refreshing after not being here for so long, even Mrs. Hat sounded less annoying. But it had definitely been annoying when she'd interrupted the beginning of her conversation with Emily. Before seeing her, Alison had wanted to scream at her friend out of frustration. But a look from her flushed all that away. Alison now just wanted to hear the reason of the silence. She wanted to fill the silence.

The moment the last bell of school ended, Alison took Emily's hand and dragged her towards the Rosewood Day's playground. The second Emily sat in a swing, Ali let it out. "Please, tell me your phone broke. No, you were ignoring me, Em. On purpose. The look on your face when you saw me, it's like you weren't expecting me to try for you. I always will." Alison closed her eyes, her hands on her hair, now sighing. "I wanna know what it did because I love you and-"

Suddenly, Alison heard a not-so-quiet sob. Emily was crying, resigned and conflicted.

"What's the matter, Em?" Ali asked worriedly, what she was saying before wasn't important anymore. Was Emily ignoring everyone because something had happened to her? Just like when Ian started harassing Ali? "Did someone upset you? Because, Em, I can get them. No one upsets my friend."

Friend. "No, Ali. Let it go."

"Emily, clearly something's bothering you and that upsets me too because I won't know how to make it better." After a long beat of silence, Ali asked, "Is it Maya?"

"What?" Emily blurted out, not expecting that at all. "No!"

"Then... is it me? Is it because I told everyone you liked a guy? Because-"

"It's not about how I like a guy! It's about how I like you!"

"W-what?"

"I like you and it scares me so fucking much. I told myself: I'm gonna push the person that I like away so I'll stop crushing on them. But it doesn't work!" Emily let out, tears raining down her cheeks. "That's why we can't be friends. You won't--you won't want to be anymore."

"I-I..." Ali was speechless, but what she said a week ago hadn't been a lie. She didn't want to lose Emily. "I do want to be your friend. I-I don't know if I can be more... but I know I want you in my life."

"Do you really mean that? Aren't I some freak now?"

"No... you're still Emily." Ali put her palm on Emily's back in comfort. "Don't worry about the rest."

Emily cried even harder. How is this happening? Ali didn't see her differently, she wasn't disgusted. Maybe Ali couldn't be more than her best friend, but she accepted her. Maybe the rest would, too. But this was still Rosewood... But like Ali said, she shouldn't worry about that now. It was like she'd been anticipating her thoughts.

In the quietness of Emily's sobs, Alison finally had time to really process this. Emily... liked her... as more than a friend. She'd been so terrified of what she would think. I mean, Alison didn't really know how to feel about Emily liking a girl, liking her. When boys drooled over her, Alison felt sick. But when Emily told her how she felt, she'd felt something strong inside her chest. Alison felt kind of like a bad friend since she hadn't figure it out before... or maybe she had and didn't want to believe it. The looks. The compliments. The protection. The jealousy. It had all been there, but all of that led Alison to wonder if she liked Emily back. Alison thought Emily was the prettiest girl ever, even more than her. Alison protected Emily just as much. Alison hadn't liked Maya at all just because Emily had some interest on her. Wait, does Emily like girls in general? Does Ali? Emily never showed any real glimpse of attraction towards boys. Ali did, but it wasn't like she was in love or something. Was Ali in love with Emily?

"Thanks," Emily said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "For not judging me."

"H-how could I?" If I'm the same.