i tried to kill myself..

"they aren't real"

they really are.

they are my demons.

i don't know if anyone else feels this way but i've heard voices ever since my depression was triggered.

sometimes they're loud.

they often tell me to hurt myself

its so scary

i can't tell anyone how i really feel that's why i am writing this story.

my therapist tells me the voices in my head aren't real,

but when they control me physically thats hard to believe.

i listen to music to drown out the white noise in my head but sometimes not even heavy metal up all the way is enough to shut them up.

i hate hiding behind a smile.

its too hard sometimes.

here are some things i can recommend to help during your darkest hour:

-if you haven't heard of twenty one pilots, they are a two piece band that make fucking amazing music and have helped me so much. i like to search up on youtube "tyler joseph inspirational speech compilation" or "tyler joseph telling you not to kill yourself". usually those help me alot. his words touch my heart. thankyou tyler.

-writing, if you like to write. write poems, stories. you don't have to share them. you can have them in a little book.you can even write songs if you want.

-drawing/painting/ any form of art. art has helped me so much. i like to use art as an expression of self. it says what i physically can't say.

-playing an instrument. i have a keyboard and ukelele and sometimes i'll just sit down and strum the chords of my uke or play some songs on my keyboard. its quite calming.

-talk to someone. some of you may have internet friends or even friends irl. if you want, you can dm me. i'm always here to talk. you can find me on instagram:

yxsemin._

or my skype is yasmoshi.

dm me if you want my snapchat.

stay safe guys , i love you all thankyou