My Mask [Completed]

what's wrong with me?

Why do i keep this fucking mask?!?

What's even the point anymore?!

Everyone thinks i'm "special" when all i am is just a big fucking joke!

Was i even meant to be here?

Is this just a phase?

How can i be happy for someone that uses my happiness?

Sometimes i feel like a fucking pencil...

Constantly used and broken over and over again...

Why even write this fucking book?

Just because i feel shitty i have to throw it out there?

I try to have a voice...

I raise my head above the rest with knowledge that hasn't even been thought of before...

Only to soon be silenced and forced back into the system...

Do i have to wake up every morning?

Do i have to go to school?

Do i have to live?

From easily impressed to seeking negative points in everything...

I try to make people's day...

I try...

I...

Me...

Is there even a me left?

Am i just a floating vessel waiting to die every fucking day?

What even is happiness anymore?

Smiling?

Laughing?

BULLSHIT!!

THERE IS NO TRUE HAPPINESS!!

I stopped believing in everything recently...

Nothing else exists in my world but birth, time, survival, and death...

Ooh the last one...

I risk my life day after day just to prove to myself that i'm actually gonna get myself killed someday...

My parents think i should communicate or talk but once i open my goddamn mouth, i'm instantly proven wrong...

What's the fucking point?!?

IS THERE EVEN A FUCKING POINT!?!