My Mask [Completed]

Lonely

girl are confusing...

but that's debatable...

i have many friends yet there's just this hole in the middle where i am...

i don't feel included...

many people know me, yet i know so little...

most that know me don't know me...

i'm not any of those things you know me by, in fact, i am almost the complete opposite...

it's annoying to constantly have to try to fit in by being nice and happy all the time...

it drains my happiness to give happiness...

every time you laugh, i'm probably slipping away...

i strive to make you smile yet as i do so, i remind myself of how lonely i actually get...

lonely in a group is worse than lonely alone...

i want to disconnect, start over, forget...

end...

when i think of you, i hate myself even more for knowing you and even more for actually feeling something for you...

i hate that i feel...

i can never quench the unforgiving thirst that yearns for someone to be there...

when i look back, it's just me...

a fucking introvert wrapped all up in a fucking extrovert shell...

everybody knows my mask...

my shell...

nobody took the time to know the real me...

well maybe it's because your bitch-ass decided that being secretive about your feelings is actually gonna get your ass somewhere...

what's the point?

making people happy? really? is that what your bitch-ass wants to accomplish?

when nobody is going to make you happy...

fuck it!

the woman that can earn my love is too rare if not non-existent...

i don't want to love or feel and i sure as hell don't want to trust anymore...

i've been played too many fucking times...

i have no idea where my mind is at rn...

i'm getting addicted to porn, i have a fucking foot fetish and i hate myself even more than my enemies...

my life is greatness filled with sadness and bullshit...

yet the greatness seems to make it's way through...

every fucking time...

it fucks me up to know i have so many friends and hobbies and responsibilities ...

i don't want to deal with people or anything yet i'm lonely...

i fucking hate my mind...

i fucking hate myself...

i fucking hate love...

i fucking hate life...

i basically fucking hate everything and it's probably never gonna change because my inner self is a lost cause by now...

doesn't mean my exterior nice-ass shell won't talk to you and make you smile often because i want humanity to grow together...

yet i have to peel myself to edit this story every single time...

nobody i know or that knows me knows this side of me...

they may have seen it....

but they don't know it because once they ask, the mask flies right back on and says everything is okay following up with a fucking corny-ass joke...

in conclusion, i hate the shit outta myself, love makes me depressed, i will probably never find my significant other in time, and this story is the worst thing you've read today and it probably ruined your day...

mr weirdo guy man boy child creature thingy thing is signing off without a signature...

GOODBYE...