The Guardian

Chapter 23: Aftermath

Recap:

"Shadow Rayn, you are in so much trouble! Who the hell did you manage to get in bed with you? And I thought I taught you better than that! Always use protection! Look at what happened to Quinn when I didn't! Don't follow my examlple."

"Derek, God. Calm down. It's a joke, ok. I'm not really pregnant. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Bye."

She set down the phone. Jaymie had stopped painting. Amy's jaw was dropped. Shadow didn't look surprised.

"Guys, I can explain."

* * * * * *

I didn't think it would have came out like this. This was definitely worst case senerio, except it wasn't a senerio. This was reality, and it was happening right now. I didn't really know what I was going to say. I hadn't prepared anything. I wasn't planning on telling them any time soon. My biggest fear was Shadow. Did she know the truth? Did she know I didn't want it? Would they even believe me if I told them it was rape? I really needed Christian.

"Well then explain?" Amy said after a long minute of silence. All three continued to look at me. I didn't think I was ready to share my story. I couldn't say anything. I was struck by fear. My eyes were wide, and I looked to Shadow in hopes that she would say something.

"Hold on, guys. Let me calm her down a little bit, and then she can explain." said Shadow as she grabbed my arm and lead me to the bathroom. She laid down the toliet seat, and sat me down on it. "Quinn, I'm really sorry about what my brother did to you. He is so screwed up. I knew the moment you came to our school what had happened. He came to me after he had left you on the street. He was crying, and couldn't believe what he had done. It was the steroids, I'm telling ya, they mess you up bad. We went back to where he said he had left you, but you were gone by the time we got there. I'm so sorry, Quinn, and now you have to go back in there and tell them what happened. You need to tell them the truth, Quinn. You can't lie to them. They will still love you because you are you."

I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to tell them. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to do this. It wasn't fair. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to have a normal life were nothing was getting screwed up every five seconds. I shook my head at Shadow.

"Quinn, you have to believe me. I have know them since kindergarden. Jaymie can't judge you because she has had sex before. Amy will hear you out. She's a good person. I can't look down on you either because my brother is the one who did this to you. All the shame is on him. This isn't your fault, Quinn. You need to be strong. Stop crying. Everything's ok." She gently whiped the tears from my cheeck. I stood up. I didn't feel any stronger, or any better. I still had no idea what to say.

We exited the bathroom together, and came back to Amy's room. Jaymie and Amy were both staring at me. Shadow left my side, and took a place next to Amy on the bed.

"I don't know where to start." I said. My body was shaking. I was so nervous. I had to pee. Damn my stupid pregnant bladder. I looked down at the floor. I couldn't meet there eyes. I found my place to start. "It was the last week of February. Derek and I decided that we would do an after valentine's celebration. He and my best friend Maccy planned everything. He took me to his family's very nice restaurant. It was more like some grand ball in my opinion, but anyways. Afterwards, I thought he was going to take me home, but instead he took me to a cabin his family owned. We were alone. The first night was ok, nothing happened. In the morning, things got a bit rough. I told him no, and he backed off. We had lunch on the lake, and afterwards we went back to the cabin for dinner. He slipped something into my drink, and well," I took a deep breath. Playing back these memories in my mind were painful. I could feel the tears. I couldn't stop them. "When I woke up," I had to take another breath. "When I woke up, I was on the side of the street. Naked. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, everything hurt. I thought I was going to die there. Then along came Christian. That's where we met. I'm sorry we lied to you before, but this isn't really something you tell someone when you first meet them. Even now, I wish I didn't have to tell you. I was going to tell you though. Just later. I didn't want you to judge me. Brian found out and he called me a whore and told me it was my fault. I didn't want you guys to look at me like that." I finished. I didn't feel accomplished. I didn't feel any better. I felt nothing. I couldn't even look at them. They hated me. I could feel it.

I did the only logical thing I could. I ran.

* * * * * *

Amy's neighborhood was unfamiliar to me. It was out farther than most of the houses in our small town. I didn't know what I was thinking. I left my car, and was walking down the street. It was almost 10, and the road was completely black. The street lamps flickered eerily.

It was getting cold, and I regretted running away. How could I have faced them? I was weak. Weak people run away from their problems. I was definitely running. Now I was cold, tired, and I had to pee really bad.

The sidewalk lead me into a dark alleyway. It was a dead end. I was completely lost. I started going back the way I came. I felt dumb for leaving my friends. I should have grown a pair of balls and faced them. It was hard, but I would have had to tell them later. I gave up walking. My feet were swollen, and I couldn't take another step. There was a bench in front of a little shop I had came upon. I slumped into it. I started to cry. I wasn't really sure why. I just felt overwhelmed.

The sound of footsteps made me look up from my disconsolate state. "Omg! Quinn? Is that you? You can't be out here right now. This is a bad part of town." It was Skylar. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. He got closer to me. He was wearing grey sweats and a t-shirt. He sat down some paper bags, and knelt down to look at me. "Omg. You're crying. Don't cry. Please don't cry."

"I can't help it. I'm pregnant!" I replied in a mumbling sob. "I can't find my way back to Amy's. My feet are swollen, and I look hideous!"

"Ok, Quinn. Let's get you back to Amy's. Unfortunately, I don't have a car, but my house is just past Amy's. I can walk you there. Come on, stop crying." He helped me off the bench. Even though he was short, he was still a good seven inches taller than me. I wiped my tears. Mascara smeared all over my arm. Great. It was a short walk, it was also very quiet.

"If it's a bad part of town, why were you in it?" I asked after a couple minutes of silence.

"I went to get a couple groceries for my mom. She wanted some ice cream." Skylar replied. I could see a tiny hint of blush. "When you said you were pregnant, we're you serious?"

Damn. He had to ask the hard question. "Yeah, I am, but it's not what you think. I am a victim of.." I stopped for a second. "I was, umm, ra,"

He stopped me this time. "You don't have to tell me, Quinn. I understand. Well, here's Amy's house."

"Thank you, Skylar." I said. He wasn't as bad as I thought. I opened the door, and walked down to Amy's room. I opened the door. I was bombarded by hugs.

"Quinn, don't you ever run off like that again. We have been calling you for an hour! Where the hell did you go!" Jaymie said as she released me.

"I started walking down the street. I ended up on some bench, and Skylar walked me home." I shrugged.

"Oh. Skylar must have been getting some groceries for his mom." Amy said. Wow. She was pretty good. I looked at all the girls. They all had smiles, not frowns. Even Shadow had a small smirk on her face. They weren't mad. They didn't hate me.

"I told you they wouldn't judge you. You need to start trusting more, Quinn. Kick your fears in the ass a couple times. Show the world you are not going to be pushed around because of what one dumb ass dick. Ok?" Shadow whispered into my ear. "Now let's have some fun!"

Somebody grabbed a movie off the shelf. We all sat on Amy's bed eating popcorn, chips, and other crap while watching John Tucker Must Die. Feeling the effects of my strenuous day, I effortlessly fell into a dreamless sleep.

---author note---

I'm not really happy about how this chapter turned out. I envisioned it a lot longer. Meh. Oh well. :) Happy Update guys :)

I'm really tired, and I'm skipping school tomorrow to go fishing with my dad and his friend Dave "the fish whisperer." :) I'll see you all real soon :)

<3 Joelle

The mini heart attack when you hi light your document and you accidentally hit cut, then remember you have an undo button.

If only life had one of those.