The Guardian

Chapter 26: The Return

My summer at Aunt Lily's was greatest summer I had ever had. Not only did I not have the stress of my piers, I could forget my problems and relax. Slowly but surely my stomach grew bigger, and now it looked as if I had swallowed a cantaloupe. It was hard to get patronizing looks from people when I went out with Aunt Lily, but she was really encouraging with me when I felt like giving up.

My mom and dad came to visit from time to time, but never stayed long. I only went home when I had doctor appointments. I had asked the ultrasound technician not to tell me the sex of my baby. I wanted it to be a surprise.

Aunt Lily and I spent a lot of our time picking baby names. I was still going back and forth on some of them. I really liked the name Amelia, but I couldn't think of a good middle name. I also liked Renée, but I wanted my baby's name to be unique. There was also Ivy, Cassandra, Maria, and Genevra. All of the boy names I had looked at weren't ones I wanted. They were all simple names like Sam, Jared, Michael, and Brandon. Boy names didn't really matter to me, because I had a hunch I was having a girl.

The summer was slowly coming to an end, and school was right around the corner. I was returning to Cedar Creek for my junior year. It was going to be tough. I was glad I would have my group of friends there to keep me sane. Being six months pregnant isn't an easy thing, especially as a teen. There are just some things you really shouldn't do in your adolescent years, and having sex is one of them. Rape or not, no one should be put in my position at such a young age.

The thing I worried about the most, was my ability to be a parent. Would my son or daughter be broken because they didn't have a father figure? Would they be crushed if they found out that they were a product of rape, and that they were forced to be made? I loved my baby. There was no doubt in my mind that I could ever hate it. I would not look at my child as a constant reminder of my struggles, I would look at it as the good that comes out of struggles.

I didn't want to be a bad parent, but I didn't want to drop out of school. Maybe adoption was my best option at this point in time.

It was a week before school started, and I had just returned home from my summer at Aunt Lily's. I hadn't really been talking to my friends much. Christian and Karly seemed to be off in their own world. Christian hardly ever talked to me. It was like my superman had abandoned me, but what could I do about it. I couldn't ask him to stop being happy for me. That would be selfish. Shadow seemed distant too. I had a feeling she was going to leave me too. Jaymie and Amy spent most of their summer with their boyfriends, but did find time to call and check up on me. Then Skylar.. I don't know what was up with him. One moment we would be talking nonstop, and the next he would be cold to me. I felt like he was playing with my fragile emotions.

I was lounging on the couch with my favorite fuzzy blanket, and a tub of ice cream watching the second Twilight movie. I was cheering for Bella to hit a rock as she jumped off the cliff. My mom walked down stairs. I could see dried tear stains on her cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot. She gave me an "I'm ok" smile, and went into the kitchen.

That was only the beginning. My parents were started to act even more awkward around me. It seemed like they were just now wrapping their heads the fact that I was really having a baby. My mom bought me parenting books to read. She also started shopping in the maturity section for me. I had a feeling that the clothes were there to hide the shame more than the baby bump.

My mom rarely went out with me. It was like I was no longer important to her. It was either me or her reputation, and her reputation won every time. This baby continued to ruin my perfectly good life. I wanted her or him or whatever gone, and out of my life as soon as it left my body.

The first day back at Cedar Creek was frustrating. I could no longer fit into my uniform, so I came to school early. The principle proceeded to lecture me about pregnancy, and premarital sex. When I reminded him that I was a special case, he apologized profusely and told me I could wear whatever I needed as long as the shirt was white, and the pants weren't ripped.