The Mistress Wife

PROLOGUE

IT HURTS. It hurts to be in my position; a position wherein no woman would ever want to be in. I love him, and He... Loved me.  I smiled bitterly at that thought; Loved. Why did the letter 'd' add up and made everything different? Hindi ba pwedeng present tense lang lahat? He loves me, cares for me, adores me? Bakit sa isang iglap ay naging past tense ang lahat?

Why did it have to go? Why did it all changed? Why is change so constant na pati ang relasyon namin na apektohan na? Wait, it didn't just affect it in a minor way, but that constant change in this world caused the man I love to vanish; not him totally, but his love for me. My mind has been full of why's, that every question of why slashes through me like a sword.

It's all gone; his love for me. It vanished like a pinch of sugar in a gallon of boiling water. No trace to be found. Yet, even though he doesn't love me anymore, he still goes home to me; to our home, hindi man araw-araw, o sa tamang oras but still umuuwi siya, or maybe that's how I like to make it. Siguro ang iba iisipin, umuuwi lang siya for little things like taking his stuff and such but for me, I like to call it him going home to me. 

We are still married. I'm still the legal wife; but then I was the one treated as the other woman. I am now the other girl who seeks his attention; ako na ngayon iyong babae na hindi alam kung saan lulugar at kung kailan ilulugar ang sarili. Ako na iyong babaeng araw-araw nagwowonder if I'll be able to see him, or even hold him. I am now the girl who craves even for a second of his undivided attention, kasi alam ko na kahit kaharap ko siya iba ang nasa isip at puso niya, and that hurts me.

Ironic isn't, the Wife now is the mistress and the mistress is legal girl.

I know how much he wished he could divorce me; I can see it in his eyes, and his actions but he couldn't.. There is no written contract that he can't divorce me, but still he doesn't.. I don't know why.

It hurt me the first time I found out he was cheating on me. Then it broke me when he said he loves her. And it almost killed me when he ask if he can be legal with her, even with us not having a divorce.

I'm stupid, numb, hurt and broken. I answered 'yes'.

That's when I became the Mistress Wife.