He doesn't know what he is doing, yes he is no more then twenty, but he just turned that this fall...he doesn't know what he is doing, he is just gonna fall...he thinks he knows the world like the back of his hand, but his life has a different plan..he tired to drugs saying it could be better this way, but it's only gonna get worse he'd always think...the alcohol makes him sick, it makes him remember rather then forget... it's sad to think that he can handle his future...yet he can barley handle his past when he is sober... bottles and bottles empty, he is drunk again as always... being jealous of his brother, who is in college , and is probably having the time of his life, he probably has a girlfriend, maybe he's already buying an apartment with her... but there is in thing that I know that he doesn't know...His brother doesn't have a girlfriend...because he is gay..And he doesn't know a clue, and he just assumes that he has everything he doesn't... but what if it's the other way around..what if the other thinks his brother is better because he has a girlfriend and he actually gets laid... and that he thinks he is better because he drinks and take substances to feel good inside....one is clean, the other is dirty... one is rich, the other is poor...one is in collage, the other is a dropout..one is gay....the other is straight.... sometimes I wonder why his life is falling apart, yet he has the time to take me to Burger King, and share his already low pay?... why does the one that is secretly gay..deny and play it off... yet I've gave him hints about his secret sexuality...but some say that it takes a gay to distinguish another one...
So while one seem better then the other...and one may be the life of the party..they still treat the other the same...because they are brothers, and that is all I could ever ask for as their niece...
I love you Julian.. for being trying to be as censored and pure as possible for my sake, and buying me Burger King on my last few days of being on the east coast..
I love you Jeremiah..for hiding your sexuality even though I already know, maybe you know about my secret sexuality..and I remember all those times we would watch glee together, and how we made 180 individual chocolate covered candy (each with its own candy in top) at 1:50 in the morning..until 3:30 am...
Man, it's interesting how much they love me...but yet they will soon learn that I will soon be gone..
YOU ARE READING
..:Just My Thoughts:..
RastgeleThis is just a little collection of a book that I have filled all of my feelings in...Whether it's good or bad...I will share it with you..to show that you not going through it alone... Hopefully, you find some comfort or relief in them :)
