6 More Days With You ~Jaeyong. L.ty××J.jh

Five. You and I were.

   Snowy days come to an end quickly. The sun comes and go, still, but stays longer. The birds chirp merrily upon the beautiful backdrop of the orange sun. Light white clouds that just make the dream-like scene more... scenic. Tranquil. Seem more like somewhere in a dream. So beautiful, you know it can't be seeing it, but it is; right in front of your very eyes, and you just can't help but admire it.   

Sigh, yet another sad day for Jaehyun.

No.

  Even if it was sad, depressing, he mustn't show that he didn't feel happy. If he felt unhappy, others need not too. It was his problem alone, and no one-absolutely no one- should get affected too. Wait! This scene looks familiar... Is this really the next day of the present he knows?  

This is a rewind to a few years back, Jaehyun suddenly realizes, he can't be back in this very house again! Yet he is. No questions asked. Haplessly. he watches very own hands drum the table restlessly, seemingly restless. He can almost hear himself, the stupid, clueless self, think: When will Yug come? I've been waiting for ages now! No, he's never going to go through that door ever again! Jaehyun screams internally, tries to warn his previous self to stop thinking about Yug to prevent the pain inflicted later on. But yet, he also knows that it's useless. The past cannot be changed, no matter how desperately he tried to alter it.

"Hmmm... Should i try calling Yu? He promised to come amd pick up at 10 on the dot!" Jaehyun feels his mouth opening, and hears himself huff. 

No...

No! Jaehyun tries to yell, to cry out, but alas it does not work-- and never will. He wants to choke on his salty tears, sob his soul out as he watches the very scene that haunts him everyday unfold right in front of his face. Again. Mercy was no where to be found, ever.

He has to go through the pain of it all again.

If you ask anyone what's the most painful thing to endure, they'll probably not tell you getting beaten, or anything like that. They'll tell you, having to see a bad memory happen all over again. The feeling when you see it happen, is unbearable enough already. However the feeling of uselessness when you try to stop it from happening again is much worse. You try to stop it, but you can't. The memory gives you false hope that you could, possibly, stop it from happening all over again, since it seems so real, as if you're experiencing it at that very moment. But the moment you realize nothing's ever going to change, it just crashes you. You try to stop it, do whatever you can, but it'll never work.

Useless.

Jaehyun sees his hands extending to the brick red telephone.

No. Please, no...

His pleads will never be answered anyways. He picks up the telephone, dials that oh so familiar number, and with a wide grin on his face, dials the number...

One ring, two.

Three.

No!

  "Please pass me that umbrella, hyunie!" Jaehyun opens his eyes into silts and peeks. Sighs. Smiles.  

Relief washes over him; he knows that that nightmare is gone for good. He also knows that there would still be a day in which he would still have to endure the whole thing again, but he would rather live as if it's his last relapse rather than living horrendously, in which thoughts of when he would dream about it would occupy his whole mind. He would live in a world of dread, and  every 'tomorrow' would be hell. Now he tries to blank out his mind. 

Forget it, Jae. It's gone... focus on the present, and not the nightmare... or rather, the horrendous past.

Nothing, rather than everything.

"Hey! Hyunie, this isn't the umbrella i want! I want... um... That one! The one that's checkered." Jaehyun hears something he does not think he would hear again, like the passing of a gentle, warm breeze, ruffling his hair. He feels refreshed, and though he doesn't believe in rebirth, this must be it. He feels like a completely new person, his sorrow gone for good. He opens his mouth to say something. Already at the first step, he fails. He can't open his mouth. Neither can he speak. 

What?

He sees himself grab a checkered umbrella from nearby, and hand it to... 

What? No, it cannot be...!

Yet in front of his eyes, breathing and smiling, was the love of his life. Again. Yug.

Yug takes the umbrella cheerfully, and says," Jae, we gotta go. You do want to catch that movie, right?" A dream, Jaehyun thinks, a dream in a dream. Yet Yug looks so HQ, so beautiful, so pure as always, and that leads Jaehyun to have an undeniable urge to touch his perfect face he'd not be able to do in years. He longs to feel his smooth skin again, and not the bloody, pale skin he caressed at the last moment of Yug's life. Years have passed but Jaehyun still has butterflies in his stomach when he looks at Yug's hazel eyes that seem to reflect everything nicely. Yug still seems to emit a brilliant aura, too. 

"Okay. Let's go," Jaehyun replies.

And then, at that very moment, his world becomes a fuzzy and distorted one, and his eyelids feel heavier. 

//

Jaehyun blinks. 

He is in his room again. The dreams have ended. For now, at least.

He stretches and rubs his eyes, trying to remove the sleep from his eyes. What he found weird, was that his eyes were slightly moist. 

He does not know, that minutes before the awakening, a single, crystal-like, pure tear fell from his closed eyes slowly, almost deliberately, down his cheeks, and onto his fluffy pillow.

 For his sins, and all the tragedies in world, it falls.