This is Euphoria

-25-

enjoy :-) make sure you've read chapter 24

I stare back at myself unmindfully in the mirror, my eyes impassive, and feeling slightly disassociated. Perhaps it's nerves, and this is my brain's way of shielding me from them. But I want this. I want this, I tell myself, though quite frankly I don't need much of a reminder, it's occupied a portion of my mind long enough for me to believe it. The only worry in mind is that my want isn't reciprocated, that my lust won't be. We've gone there once before, but it ultimately led nowhere. Now I craved a touch from him, maybe a little too much.

"You look good," Vera praises, her image appearing behind me in the mirror.

Is this a good idea? After all, I'm leaning on Vera for guidance out of all people, so I suppose that answers my own question. Not that she isn't reliable, it's just sometimes she riles me up a bit too much, so I don't think clearly.

I attempt to look at it from an objective stance-point, and this could either go very wrong or exactly how I want it to go. And if I don't take this opportunity now I'll never know, and I don't want to live with uncertainty.

"Okay," I say finally. I decide right now that I'm doing it, shooting my shot. I just hope I don't fail miserably.

"Your cab is here," says Vera with a mischievous grin. I hurry up and say a quick goodbye, then rush outside. Sure enough the distinguishable yellow car is situated a few feet away. I hope they didn't have to wait long.

I make casual conversation with the driver at first, but eventually we just stop talking all together. I stare out of the window instead, and after a whole ride of nervously anticipating arriving and fidgeting with the ends of my dress, we arrive at the familiar building, which still looks breathtakingly beautiful no matter how many times I've seen the exterior. I've been at Kai's building so often in the last month that it should feel like home.

After I pay the driver I slowly approach the building, as if it were overly intimidating, and I was overly timid. I push away my thoughts and step into the opulent lobby. Per usual, a few people are about, some conversing with each other while others just wait around.

I inhale shakily, which leads me notice my hands can't keep still and my face feels rather warm. I roll my eyes at myself, but nonetheless I go off to the side instead of calling an elevator.

I bid to gather myself before I see Kai, and to further plot and scheme, though I wouldn't like to admit that. I consider whether I'm psyching myself out, or if I'm actually not thinking properly. In the midst of my internal debate, I recognize a smooth voice.

"Athena," says Kai cheerfully, "did you just get back from somewhere?"

Under his arm is a white packet, meaning he must have just come from the mailroom. Wow, I couldn't catch one break.

"Uh, yeah," I splutter, "I was just going up."

We take the elevator up together. My neck is burning more evidently than ever being in such close proximity to him. For once in our relationship, he does all the talking.

"Do you want something to eat? I've just been to the shops," he offers once we walk through the door and into his kitchen.

The granite countertops are shining, the variety of cookbooks on the shelves are in order, and the spices are neatly in their destined position on the spice rack. Come to think of it, I've never really seen anything belonging to him out of place. He's really tidy.

"No," I answer without thought. "Actually yes, just an apple, if you have one."

It wouldn't hurt to eat something. I haven't had much to eat all day, it just escaped my mind. It could help calm me.

He washes the brightest red one under the faucet and walks it over to me. He hands it to me with a small smile and I take it graciously then bite into it.

"I was just cleaning my room," he explains. I doubt it's even messy, but I just smile to myself. I can tell he just got out of the shower because his hair is darker than usual, meaning it's damp. I follow him closely towards his bedroom.

I glance hesitantly at his bed but sit on the edge of the mattress anyway; it's not like I haven't slept on this bed countless nights before, but now it means something different, at least to me.

Unsure of what to do other than watch him intently, I take another bite out of the apple. He moves over to his dresser, shifting over some materials.

"So what did you do all day?" he asks, his back to me.

I catch a glimpse of what he's doing. All of his rings are laid out across the wooden surface of his dresser. I've never seen him without the silver bits apart of his fingers. He must've just cleaned them...

"Oh you know, this and that.." I hear my own voice fade out like the ending of a song.

I'm so captivated watching him putting on his jewelry. He steadily slides each piece down his long lanky fingers then twists them a bit before moving onto the next piece. I must have subconsciously put down my apple because it's not longer in my hands.

"Kai," I blurt, though it sounds more like a plea.

The sudden change in my tone seemingly grasps his attention and he swivels around to face me. His bright eyes are searching me. Oh god.

"Yeah?" He says, confused but curious.

"I, uh, need- well want, something from you," I murmur shortly. I pray to God he'll catch on. I shift around uncertainly, crossing then uncrossing my legs then stretching out my arms.

He observes my body language. Then he looks at me. There's a glint in his eyes. He understands. I know he does.

He turns his back on me. There's a stupid smirk slapped across his face, I guarantee it, even if I can't see it. He puts on his last ring then holds up his hands in front of him and spreads them apart, so they're ten perfect fingers.

"What was that?" he questions obliviously and still not facing me, but he and I both know he heard me perfectly fine the first time.

"I want something from you," I repeat.

In two long strides at the foot of the bed kneeling down in front of me. For once, I feel taller than him. His hand is lightly brushing the side of my thigh, but it feels like fire wherever his skin is touching mine.

"And what is it you need from me, Athena?"

an: don't worry, im updating tomorrow ;)