Secret Letters to B

Letter #6

Oppa,

I don't know how many letters should I send to you, but I don't care. I have a lot of feelings buried deep down, and this is the only way I could let it out.

Oppa, I wish you wouldn't go back here. I know my mind gets unstable, and this time I don't want you to go back. HERE. Everytime you're here oppa, I get ruined. I get into trouble. I take risks. I daydream. Most of all, I fall in love with you more. I'm already changing myself in times you are gone, but then you're going back this Saturday. You'll be texting me again. You don't know it, but my schedules get destroyed because of you. Do you have some evil power in you that you ruin me? Or do you have some black magic or hatred against me? Why do I get in trouble when I'm with you? I'm really confused.

Is that love, oppa? Taking risks for each other? I know you take risks for me too, especially that graduation where we took some pictures with your father there, or that you secretly go to my room at night to talk with me. But you know that I take more risks than you. It's getting harder and harder for us, that's why I was a little glad you graduated already and you're going to that university already. Technically it means you're not going back to me anymore... right?

Having said that, I felt a small sting in my heart. Seriously, I miss you oppa. I really do. But then this is life. I have to live without you, I guess. You'd probably be happy at the fact that I won't be already there with you anymore. No one will be there to bother you already. I'm a little happy, too.

Oppa, I still wish you wouldn't go back here. I wish I did not take the chance to be close to you. I wish we did not meet. If that happened, I would be perhaps be happy right now. There'll be no secret letters to you such as this. There'll be no taking risks for you. I know regrets are really in the end, so probably this is another end for me. I said to myself that loving you has no doubts, but I don't know what happened now. If I knew that you'd leave me first, I think I wouldn't regret anything. But now...

*sigh* oppa, I don't know what to do.

Love,

ㄹ.