Secret Letters to B

Letter #14

Oppa,

This time, I'm so hurt.

I said I'm letting you go, but this time, I won't hide my feelings.

"In college find a girlfriend~ I want to see you happy."

Remember when I told you that? And you answered it would be me? I was happy. But now, I think you did it, but my feelings...

A while ago I dared myself to look at your wall in a social media app., and I saw you. You changed your profile picture with the one you gave me a long time ago. That was one of my favorite pictures, and I think I told you that. I scrolled through your posts that are written in Korean, and one post caught my eye.

I'm a little bad in understanding Korean, so I had to use a translator app. Anyway, I think it meant something about you falling for a lonely Filipina girl, and you're saying sorry, and I think you said that you did a crime to her? Well I knew that crime was just an idiom, but... the whole post itself, along with its comments...

As I translated and read the comments, little by little my heart breaks. It was something about you finding a girlfriend, it was something about the girl knows that you like/ love her, it was something about her or you being lonely. Whatever that was, I knew it was something between you and a girl.

I want to be happy for you but... I just can't. A part of me is happy, but more of it isn't.

I still want to stay away from you because of what you do to me, but oppa, if you really change, I swear I'm letting you wait. I want to cry but I shouldn't because you are not worth my tears for now.

You said you'll be visiting our school probably this Friday. I guess you'll see me on one of the classrooms. I really don't want to see you, so I have no plans of meeting or talking to you. Even if it hurts, I know that I have to stay away from you because you are too good and too bad for me. So if you go there, I think I'll just hide or stay away from you.

I don't want to see you. But if destiny wants us to meet, then it would be okay.

I'm not yet sure of that post you did, but whatever that was, I knew there's something wrong.

I'm starting a new life already oppa, please don't ruin it for me.

I hate you. Stay away from me.

ㄹ.