Secret Letters to B

Letter #12

Oppa,

Hey.

We met this Friday, remember? I went to our dorm, and you were there. You talked to me once more.  And that was the time when I new it. I missed you. I missed your hug. Your kiss. Your everything. I never thought we' d still meet. When you saw me and then smiled like a little kid, my heart skipped beats. Oppa, why? Why are you so... aish.

That Friday, the time I saw you on the tricycle, I was really happy. And lonely. I'm happy because I was given another chance to see you again. I'm lonely because... to admit, my feelings for you have changed. I wasn't the girl you met before. I know it. My feelings lessened.

Oppa, that day was a fairytale/ adventure/ lovely day. We met again, we went on a small date but well, I wouldn't call that a date because we went to a mall without knowing what to do, we just kept walking around like crazy, with you following me, so we just went back to school -_- Anyway, I was happy.

I went to our dorm and went straightly to my room. I immediately packed the things I left and got ready to leave before you had the chance to go inside my room. But then, I heard a creak from behind. I looked around, and mentally face- palmed myself. It was you. I stood up, holding my bag and things to show you that I'm leaving, but you took it from me and dropped it on the floor. Tss. You don't want me to leave.

But, those words you left me with. Were they true? Were they?

The moment you went inside my room, I knew that I really missed you. I clearly remeber the time that I hugged you. I buried my head in your chest and felt your heartbeat. I prayed to God, really. I prayed. Lord, please, let him say 'I love you'. Just this time, Lord. Just this time, please. But before I could finish that, I already heard a whisper.

I love you.

My eyes widened. W-Was that true? I heard it right, right? Y-you said I love you!

I love you too. I answered. Then I laid my head on your shoulder and hugged you. I remember the words you said. It really made me smile. A sad one.

"Remember the last time I told you? We'd still meet. This is not the last." You whispered. For the first time, you said such things in person. I didn't answer. I just hugged you tightly. Why are you like this to me? You kept leaving me with such sweet words, it makes me fall for you more. I hate you.

On the way out, I clearly remember you asking once more with a kiss. I laughed as I saw your lips that pouted cutely. It was pinkish also. Anyway, I stood on my toes and reached for your lips. It was just a smack, but I think if it was viewed from afar, it would be sweet.

You kept leaving me with sweet things but then... you just went back to Manila like nothing happened. Like I'm a friend again. I'm really confused.

When we met, you showed me the you that was so happy to see me, that missed more than I missed you. But now you're there in Manila again and we're back to long- distance relationship, you just chat with me like I'm just a friend.

Oppa, remember, I'm your sister. I was even your ex- girlfriend. And you said that you're mine. So what's happening now? You act like I'm just a friend. I'm just asking.

Oh! And one more thing. Please don't be lazy to go to school. I know school is boring, but you have big dreams, oppa. Your dreams are heavier than mine. Don't be lazy. You might not fulfill your dream with that attitude. Anyway, I told you that already. Keep that in mind.

I hate you for making me fall more,

ㄹ