Blind Alley

Chapter 2. (Past)

"You'll have to cover that up"

Louis demanded. I frowned at him surprised by his reaction of my tattoo saying "Things i can't". He usually smiles and thinks my tattoos are clever or sweet. But not this time. This time it was different. Just like everything have been between us lately.

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It is too obvious. I thought you would write something else"

We were sat in Louis apartment as he was standing in front of the mirror fixing his hair. I sighed as it seems like i can never please him these days. I glanced down at my wrist already regretting it. But it's funny how he hasn't mentioned this before and then all of the sudden wants me to cover it up.

"Well, I have to go now. Feel free to stay, love."

He said and put his jeans jacket on. I got off the couch and walked over to him. He had avoided eye contact the entire evening and I was not going to let him leave until he shows me anything that tells me he hasn't given up on us yet.

"Alright, good luck. Love you"

I mumbled in my deep voice that appears every now and then. He was going to make some appearances with Eleanor in town. Something he usually does these days. More often than necessary. I caressed his back softly with my big hand. Carefully sliding my fingers across the jeans fabric. The tension between us became very intense and the air became thick as i leaned into him. Trying to catch contact with his lips. He turned his head away from me and put his hand on my chest as a protest.

"Not now, Harry"

He whispered. The words stung in my chest as i've heard those words way to often in other situations.

"No one's around"

I said staring at him as he walked past me to the front door. I sighed once again, loud enough for him to hear this time. He flexed his jaw the way he does when he's frustrated. I felt the horrible familiar ache fill my chest as i sat down on the floor with my back against the wall. Louis closed his eyes trying to get away the thought of how much this hurts me.

Every time he tries to keep a distance between us i sink into a dark place. I felt a lump grow inside my throat as i tried to keep from crying. My eyes filled with tears. I looked down at my knees and swallowed my anxiety. I noticed a shadow covering me as his feet walked towards me slowly. He got down on his knees and tried to catch my gaze but i wouldn't let him see my bloodshot eyes. He reached his hand towards me and cupped my chin. Making me look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, i'm just in a hurry okay? I'll be back in an hour. I promise."

He said in the comforting way that makes me feel like a big child. The words made me even more sensitive than before but i tried to keep it together. For him. For us.  I sobbed quietly as I wiped away the single tear running down my cheek. I nodded at him as i didn't trust my voice to answer him.

"Good. I'll be back before you know it."

He said and got up. I tried to act emotionless just like he is so good at sometimes. I nodded and tried to make my voice uninterested and deep.

"Yeah. No problem."

I said nodding along to my own words as if I was trying to convince myself rather than him.

About a minute later the front door closed and i was left alone. The apartment seems so much bigger and so empty when he isn't here. I walked over to the window and slowly swiped the white transparent curtain to the side as i stared down at the street. There she was standing with all her attention drawn to the phone in her hands. I don't hate her, i really don't. She's not doing anything wrong to be honest. She got a job to do and she's doing it. Nothing more or less than that.

Suddenly Louis appeared, walking over to her as he looked to the left and right. Checking to see if any cameras were there. He opened his arms and wrapped them around her. I swallowed my feelings and forced myself to walk away from the window. I'm used to this but i still don't like it.