Blind Alley

Chapter 9.

One week later.

Wherever i went i found something that reminded me of him. Our memories was something i never really could forget, but that day a week ago is one thing i will never be able to shake out of my head... As i stood in the middle of the streets waiting for the bus my mind just started flowing. I had my hands in the pockets of my brown coat. I wore a beanie and sunglasses. I really tried to fit in without anyone recognizing me. And so far it seemed to work, but that is only the way here, by cab. The mobile in my pocket suddenly vibrated. I frowned at the screen. It was a text from Zayn. He almost never texts me. "Hey man, i just heard about Louis... I'm really sorry bro". What was he talking about? Last time anything actually happened was last week with the drama between Louis, me and management. Did the guys really not tell him until now? Maybe he was referring to something else.

The last morning i saw him was the morning after that stupid choice he had to make. Well i shouldn't even call it a choice since he didn't have any. He just stood there in the hall staring at me as i packed all of my stuff. He kept staring down at his phone, trying to obtain himself. But i knew that he just didn't want to see the way all of my belongings leave his home. As if i'm leaving and taking every memory left of me along. Guess he didn't want that image left in his memories. I know i wouldn't. I really tried to keep my tears in but realizing that this may be the last time we can ever hang out like this is hard... Just the two of us. Alone.

A photograph of us was on top of the chest of drawers. This one was mine. He can keep any picture he wants, including the one on the nightstand in the bedroom, but not this one. This one means the world to me. It was a picture taken the day we had our first kiss. Louis was so adorable in that picture. I smiled for myself as i observed that beautiful smile of his. He wore a striped t-shirt and a beanie on top of his head. His smile was wide and as enchanting as always. But a sudden ache fills my chest when i raise my sight from the picture and stare at the present Louis. Standing next to the kitchen with tired eyes and not even anything near a smile.

As I had lastly packed the last thing in my box i walked over to the front door. I slowly put my brown leather boots on. Really trying to cherish the moment by doing everything slow enough to have a clear mind about it all. As i stood there i starting looking around. I really tried hard to capture every memory made in this place. All the laughs and all the tears. When letting go of something i like to remember both the good and bad things.

With my shoes and coat on i sighed. I wasn't ready for this. I really hate goodbyes, and this one will be the hardest one yet. I glanced over at him as i cleared my throat, trying to catch his attention. His eyes finally left the cellphone screen and met mine. He walked over to me and took a deep breath.

"So... I guess this is it"

He said. I nodded. It was suddenly silent enough to hear the wall clock tick loud and clear. Louis still couldn't really look me in the eyes. After struggling with keeping eye contact with me for a couple of seconds he gave in and his sight fell to the floor. I noticed that the breath he took was unstable. The way it is when he is about to cry. I couldn't stand it any longer. This would probably be my last chance to do this so i followed my instincts and wrapped my arms around his torso. I buried my face in my shoulder and he slowly hugged me back. Tighter than ever and i didn't want to let go. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

As the bus finally stopped i got on along with dozens of others. I sat down and put my headphones on. An old man sat down on the seat in front of me with newspaper in his hands. As he opened the pages i couldn't help but to notice the front page. "One Direction member Louis Tomlinson finally pops the question" The headlines read. My heart skipped a beat. Did he do it already? How? When? I took off my glasses to get a better look at it but i needed the details. For some reason i just really need to know everything about it.

"Excuse me, may i just check that?"

I tried to ask as politely as possible. The man seemed confused at first but then nodded and handed me the paper. A frown grew upon his face. I guess he began to recognize me without the glasses on, but i didn't care at this point. I fast turned to the right page. There it was. A picture of Louis standing on one knee, proposing to Eleanor. She covered her mouth with her hands as if she was surprised. I felt a lump growing inside my throat as i read the article. I suddenly couldn't even see what the text said cause my eyes got so filled with tears that it just blurred out my vision. I didn't care if anyone saw me crying. So i just blinked and let the tears run down my cheeks. There was a picture of the band on the corner as well. Louis had his arm around me and it just made me go nuts. My mind started flowing and i felt like everything was so fucking pointless. 

"Hey, you're Harry Styles!"

A young man next to the old one said. I didn't respond, so he repeated it. Even louder this time. Loud enough to catch many people's attention inside the bus. I felt a bunch of eyes turning to me in a sudden haste. I saw some taking some pictures as well. I could see it through the corner of my eyes. It frustrated me so much that i was so emotionally unstable in this moment and couldn't do shit. Everyone has their cameras up. It is bad enough that a couple of tears have run down my face. If i have a mental breakdown in this bus i will screw alot of this up and alot would be in vain.

"Harry can i take a picture with you? My sister is a big fan!"

One person asked. I handed the old man back his paper and got up. I just shook my head. I'm not the kind of person that ignores others like this but this was just not the time and place. Multiple voices started saying my name and asking me for pictures and autographs but i just waited for the bus to stop and got off without giving them another glance. I knew exactly what to do.