Blind Alley

Chapter 6.

When i got home i changed into my sweatpants and sat lied down in bed. I put my headphones on, volume up. With my hands behind my head i just stared up at the ceiling. The window was slightly opened just enough for a little wind to slip in and cool the room down a bit. My chest raised and let go in a tired sigh.

The Fray - How to save a life, was playing pretty loudly. I ended up taking the headphones off and just listening through the speakers. I was home alone, so why not?

Harry made me feel so many different feelings in just one day. First happiness, then frustration, anger, sorrow, hurt and now i don't know what i'm feeling. I'm just... Numb. These are the moments i feel like i'm some sort of robot. No matter how hard i want to cry, i can't. I just can't. I feel the sorrow, i feel the tears screaming to pour out. And eventually, they did. But i still don't feel alive. Cause... Now, the tears are there. They are running down my cheeks just as they should. But i'm not actually crying.

I opened the top drawer on the nightstand next to the bed. There was a razor. I really didn't want to do it. I have gone so long without it. But i needed something. Something to punish me for being this scared.

Just as i put the blade on the skin on my wrist i stopped. Taking a deep breath before cutting the already scarred arm. THAT's when somebody stormed into the flat. Harry. I forgot he still had the extra key. He was catching his breath as  he seemed completely destroyed. His hair was messier than ever, his lips were moist and pink. He turned to me and i gasped, with the blade still on my wrist.

"What's that..?"

He muttered breathlessly. I put the blade back in the drawer as fast as i could as if he didn't see it already.

"Nothing... What are you doing here?"

I answered.

"I should ask you that..."

He said as he took firm steps towards the bed. The music was still playing and he didn't bother to turn it off. He sat down next to me and i felt the mattress sink slightly. He slid his big hand down to my arm and grabbed it. I didn't get the chance to do anything yet. He lift my wrist and kissed it with his soft lips. He slid his thumb across the side of the wrist which removed the makeup i always put on to cover the scars up. I stared at him scared of what his reaction would be. But he didn't really act on it. He just took a deep breath as his eyes reddened.

"I thought you had quit..."

He mumbled. His lips parted once again as he seemed ready to give me a proper name-calling. But at this point i didn't want to argue about anything. I just wanted this amazing guy to know exactly how much i love him.

"I love you"

The words just slipped out of my mouth before i got a chance to think clearly. His eyes widened. It had been so long since i've said those words. He turned speechless and completely caught off guard.

"I have to admit you hurt me when you said that thing in the bathroom but, i mean, you're right. I've been awful at keeping my promises. But i am sick and tired of letting you down, because you mean so much to me i...."

And before i got the chance to finish speaking he threw himself at me. My lips cached his as he started kissing me intensely. I tried to catch my breath from all the sudden kissing but it just turned more passionate by the second. He struggled with getting his blazer off so i helped him and pulled it off his arms. He started unbuttoning his dark shirt. His warm hand suddenly reached down to my crotch. I stopped and opened my eyes. He did the same. We stared into each others eyes for a long time. I had missed this. Being able to stare right into his green eyes as he is excited and their pupils expand widely. I was surprised they still do, which made me blush. A smile grew on my lips and he couldn't help but smile as well then. I noticed how his adorable dimples appeared on his cheeks.

"What is it?" He laughed.

The pureness within him is uncanny. He could go from a hot man into an adorably big child within seconds which i've always admired.

"Nothing, i've just missed this."

I said. His face softened. He's never good at saying things in these kind of situations so i took the lead role in honesty at the moment.

"Me too"

He put his hand on my neck and kissed me once again. I lied on top of him and took charge which we both like. I grabbed the end of my t-shirt and brought it over my head. He stared at the exposed area with a enchanted look. Our inked torsos pressed into each other as he sat up with my legs on each side of his body. This was the way it was supposed to be.