The Story I Never Published

eight

Philippines

~*~

"Sorry that we couldn't make it," I apologized to Ian. He proposed in driving Pandora and I to the airport.

"It's fine. We can always hang out when you guys come back," he positively replied, "besides, your family is more important."

"Thank you," I can feel the salty liquid form in my eyes. But this time, I'm quite sure that they are a result of happiness and not depression.

Other cars stopped being greedy of the road and finally cleared out. We arrived at the airport a few minutes earlier than the usual suggested time.

"Safe flight, okay?" Ian muttered as he pulled the last suitcase out of the trunk, "tell Aunt Lizzie I said hi."

"Will sure do," I gave him a quick hug before taking the luggage and started walking in.

We lined up to get our baggage checked in, which didn't take that long since we were earlier than the others that had the same flight.

"Boarding Flight PJ1013," a voice from the speakers announced.

"That's us," Pandora voiced out as we picked up our hand-carries and walked towards the gate. We showed the flight attendant our tickets and proceeded in marching towards the plane.

We took our assigned seats and settled down for a bit before a flight attendant approched and asked, "excuse me m'am, may I get you anything?"

I shooked my head and uttered a quick 'thank you' before she left and continued in assisting other passengers.

"It's my first time being in the business class," Pandora shrieks quietly while covering the half of her face with a blanket.

"Same here," I grinned, "I want to comfort myself before going to my hometown."

Half of the trip was just Pandora and I sleeping because it was already eleven-thirty at night when we boarded the plane. Since the trip is approximately sixteen hours long with a two hour stop-over in Korea, I grabbed myself a blanket when I packed.

"Hey, can we share? It's getting a bit chilly even though I have a sweater on—and I don't like the blankets they give out," Pandora tapped my shoulder slightly to gain my attention.

I didn't respond. Instead, I unfolded the cloth and gave the other half of the space to her. She replied with a simple 'thanks' and went back to watching Netflix. I buried my cheeks into the warm and soft neck pillow and then slept.

It was already five-thirty AM in New York and I decided to call the attention of a flight attendant.

"May I know what time you would be serving breakfast?" I asked politely.

"We'll be serving them in thirty minutes, m'am," she responded, smiling.

I smiled and nodded which made her go back in the crew area. And like I was told, they served our food at exactly six AM. Pandora ordered for extra snacks while I just sat back quietly and watched Riverdale on Netflix.

The whole plane ride was boring. Pandora and I just joined together in watching Netflix until the co-pilot announced that we were about to land.

• • •

"Ate!!!" My little sister, Nevaeh, ran towards me through the other end of the hallway, "you're home!!!"

"Yes baby, I am home," I replied as I hugged her tightly, "do you still remember my room?"

"Of course I do, ate!" She excitedly led me upstairs, "here."

And the room is the same as I remembered it. The plain white walls with a single pastel teal accent wall is the same. The bed and its sheets remained the same even after I left four years ago. As absurd it may seem, I remember it crystal clear.

"Are you sure about going there?" My mother asked. Her old age was making it more difficult for me to go. I want to be the one to take care of her. But I can't.

"Yes po, mama," I replied, teary-eyed.

"Okay, as long as masaya ka," she smiles a faint one. I returned a fake smile and hug her tight.

We are in the airport's lobby—where outsiders and non-ticket holders were allowed—saying our farewell to one another, my parents and little sister.

"I'll be fine," I faced my crying sister who just turned eleven, "don't cry. Just take care of mama and papa for the both of us, okay?" She nodded in response.

I hugged all three of them before checking my luggage and myself in.

"It'll only be a year. I will still come back," I whispered to myself as I stepped foot on the plane.

"Do you still remember mama's exact words four years ago?" She ask, out of the blue, without taking her eyes off of our sleeping mother through the glass window.

"Yeah," I hesitantly replied, looking at her, "she wished for me to stay."

"But you still did," she replied in an awful and bitter way, "was it better there?" She sounded sarcastic and frustrated.

"New York wouldn't be complete without you," seeing Nevaeh grin widely at my response makes my heart flutter and ache at the same time. Flutter because I know she missed me. But ache because I knew that a part of her was still disappointed in me for leaving them.

"I hope we could be whole again," she muttered softly before slowly turning around and sitting down on a vacant chair.

We are in the hospital. I decided to visit mama as soon as I arrive. Pandora went to her province—somewhere in Cavite—to visit her family and relatives while I am here, with my younger sister, visiting our comatose mother.

I thought about Nevaeh's statement of being a whole family again. I myself wanted that to happen. I wish I could bring my father back. I prayed, ever since I knew about mama, that she'd wake up and be her old jolly self. But that would be a miracle—in my father's case, though. I can't bring him back. Because you can never wake someone that is forever asleep beneath the earth's soil.

I may have a wrecked family, but I'm home—in the Philippines—where I grew up, studied, and met my true friends.