Spanglish | editing

Chapter Seventeen

Daniel turns his head slowly towards me, his eyes wide with shock. To be honest, I'm shocked too. I didn't think I would be telling my story to someone who isn't even my boyfriend. We don't have labels on each other, we don't know if this relationship is going to work, but that doesn't stop my heart from thinking "Him. You can trust him. You can tell him."

When those words fell out of my mouth, it was like a wave of anxiety passed through me. Every part of me wished I didn't say it, but by his reaction, I did say it. I don't even know why I said that!

Actually, yes I do.

It was when he said, "I'll try my best Nida." That's what triggered my response.

Focusing back on Daniel, his face hasn't changed from the initial shock. His eyebrows are raised, his dark eyes swimming with all types of emotions, his lips are slightly parted. I don't say anything, I just stare at him. For a moment, it seems as if he doesn't believe me, so I give him a small smile to show that I'm serious.

"Me voy y llevo a tus hermanos conmigo. Te amo Nida. (I'm leaving and taking your siblings with me.)" My mother yells from the other room. I'm not sure if she knows what's going on or if she has perfect timing, but either way I'm grateful. The front door shuts and I sit up. So does he.

"Are you- Are you sure you want to?" Daniel stutters, his eyebrows now pulled together. Closing my eyes, I nod. I need to do this. I have to tell him if this is going to work. I really want us to work. So instead of answering his question, I start talking.

"My abuelo hated my father. My dad was 18 when he started dating my mother, who was 16. They went to high school together is Tijuana, Mexico. Abuelo forbid my mom from dating my dad, claiming he's nothing but trouble. But my abuela, she saw how much my parents loved each other, and despite what was told, she helped my parents be together without my grandfather knowing. My grandfather hated my father even more when he got my mother pregnant."

I paused and looked at Daniel. He looks completely engrossed in this, so much so that I can see the wheels turning in his head. His eyes urge me to keep going. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I continue.

"He kicked my mother out saying: Sal de mi casa y lleva a tu bebé demonio contigo. He said to get out of his house and take your demon baby with you. The first name I was ever given was 'demon baby'. Anyways, my mom moved in with my dad and his mother. They struggled. And when my mom was 3 months pregnant, my dad pitched the idea: America. Everyone was skeptical at first, what's an 18 and 16 year old going to do in America? No family, no friends, nothing but each other and an expecting baby. Yet, my dad claimed he had enough money to get there and everything would be figured out. All mom had to do was keep herself and the baby healthy. After 3 days of convincing, my mother reluctantly agreed. She only did it for me, to give me the life she wouldn't get to have. They day before they left, my abuela on dads side sat my mom down and said:

"'My son is too ambitious for his young mind. He never thinks of what can go wrong, only what he can possibly make happen. So promise to be patient with him, to be there for him. Don't promise me not to hurt him, but to-" Daniel cuts me off and says,

"To try your best." Tears well up in my eyes and bite my lip to hold them back. My mom had to have told him that before, to try his best. He said it twice with me already and that's a very sentimental saying in our family.

Promete hacer tu mejor esfuerzo.

I wipe the tears from my eyes quickly and grab his hand as a support system. The warmth and comfort from holding his hand gives me just a little strength.

"They leave to America and when they get here, they were lost considering they didn't speak any English. The people they came with gave my dad a job and they had this horribly small apartment in Alabama. It was a day by day thing and one day my dad came home with a textbook to learn English. He spent the money he was supposed to use for rent to buy a textbook so my mom can learn English. So she did, and as time went on he bought more and more. She's not exactly fluent but she knows so much. Mom still isn't fluent, but she tries. I was born on the living room floor in that small apartment in Alabama. They took me to the hospital, and I was made into a citizen of the United States. My dad hated the idea of us staying where we were, so he picked up overtime everyday for two years, and then we moved to North Carolina. My dad got a new job there, my mom took care of me. A few years later John was born, then Adeline. We were a big happy family. Until.... until-"