one shots

Love Me ~Jeamus~ {Sad/Fluff}

I didn't understand why I felt this way. Or even when I started to feel this way. James had always been a close friend to me, but somewhere along the line, I didn't see him as my friend anymore. My whole body ached for him. I wanted him to see me and touch me the way I wanted to do him. Just thinking about him was enough to make me feel intoxicated. I shook my head out of its drunken state.

He'll never love you back, dumbass.

You don't know that. Maybe he's thinking about me right now. Oh, how I want to kiss him, to feel him.

You are disgusting. He's your best friend. Not some faggot like you. If he finds out about your "feelings" he's sure to hate you.

James would never hate me. He's been my friend since high school. It was meant to be. We are perfect for each other. All those late nights in the office had to have meant something. Sleeping on the couch together, him holding me the way he did. He always would apologize for it, saying he was a cuddler, but I wanted to always reply with,"Please, just continue holding me. Keep loving me."

Sighing, I knocked on James' office door. He was my ride home ever since Ash broke up with me. "Come on in, Sea! I'm almost done editing.",James said, his voice piercing loudly through the thick wooden door. I smiled, and opened the door. "Hey, dude!",I greeted, seeing him editing a video he'd done with Aleks earlier. "S'up, Seamus? I'm almost done and then we can head out. Hey, how about we stop for something to eat? I'm starving.",James asked, peering at me. I placed a finger on my chin, acting as if I was thinking about it. He punched me softly. "Fine. Yeah, that sounds alright to me. I haven't eaten anything other than that beef jerky Sly brought in.",I answered, chuckling.

James made a face. "Eww. What the fuck?",he said in one of his weird voices. I laughed loudly. James, why can't you love me? That's all I want. I want to be loved. Not by anyone, but you. I want your beard to scratch at my face as you kiss my softly. My day dreams are getting out of hand.

"Okay! Done! Vámonos!",he yelled, jumping from his chair. He grabbed my hand, making me blush from his touch, and pulled me out of our offices, locking to door, and down the stairs.

"You're in a rush."

"I'm hungry, Sea. What do you expect?"

"It's not the fucking end of the world. Calm down, speedy."

James chuckled, his eyes shinning slightly when he looked at me. I stopped my hand from reaching out to grab his face to pull it towards mine.

Not only are you a faggot. You are a pussy as well. Wow. Such the odd combination.

Shut up. I know.

James opened my door and moved to let me in. "Wow, such the gentleman.",I stated, getting into his car. "Only for my lovely princess.",James said with a wink. My mouth stuttered for a moment, I was at a lost for words. J-James just winked at me, and he called me a fucking princess! What the hell? He jumped into the passenger seat and turned on the engine before pulling out of the parking lot. "Where exactly are we going?",I said, a bit breathy from James' previous flirt. Did he do that on purpose? Do I actually have a chance with the man I love?

Why the hell would he like you, bitch? You are nothing. Absolutely worthless. What do you have to offer him?

'Love'?

Wow. That's fucking fantastic. He'll never love you back, you know. Why would he? Your hair is too long, you've gained so much weight, plus you are the ugliest thing that has ever burdened him ever since his ex. Who was a GIRL. Not a guy. And definitely not his best friend.

My eyes began to water, tears fell down my face, into my lap. A hand was placed over mine.

"Seamus? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I quickly wiped my eyes with my Twitch hoodie and shook my head. "It's nothing, don't worry about me, James.",I said, tears still involuntarily falling down my face. I felt James pull the car to the side of the road and turn off the engine.

"We are not moving until you tell me what's wrong. Please, Seamus? I care about you, I want to help."

My eyes began to water more, and my breaths became short and quick, hiccup-like. Placing a hand over my chest, my breathing got worse and I was suddenly gasping for air. "I think I'm having a panic attack.",I said, grabbing at my hair, pulling it. James unbuckled my seat belt and lifted the arms of the seats between us.

"Seamus, just breath, ok?",he explained,"Thinking of something else. Think of Ash- fuck. I'm sorry. J-Just focus on me, ok? Look at me."

James grabbed my face and made me look at him. He closed his eyes and pulled my face towards his. Our lips met, and I immediately felt calm. He moved with me, like a dance only we knew. His lips stayed on mine, and I questioned if I was dreaming or actually here, being kissed by my crush. He pulled away and I stared at him.

"I read once, that if someone is having a panic attack, they need to stop breathing for a moment, so when I kissed you-"

"I stopped breathing.",I finished, looking down. I knew it was too good to be true. "Hey, uh, Sea?",James asked,"I know this might be weird since I did just kiss you, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? I've been meaning to ask you, but I'm a dumb." James scratched the back of his head nervously, waiting for my reply.

I threw myself at James, hugging him tightly. "Of course. That would be wonderful.",I answered, pecking him on the cheek.

This is going to end badly, and you know it.

Go fuck yourself.