one shots

Complicated ~NovaHD~ {Sad}

And I get so frustrated, about how everything ends in a fight. Why bring out a candle, when you don't even care to see the light? And every time you make me cry, I love you a little bit more...

"God fucking damnit, James!",he screamed, pulling at his hair, eyes watery,"For the last fucking time, he's a fucking friend. Kevin is a fucking friend! Can I not fucking talk to my friends?! Can you for fucking once not be such and omnipotent asshole and get off my fucking back?"

I glared at him, he's words pushing me further to the edge, making me more and more frustrated with his actions. My hands twitched, itching to reach out and grab him by the fucking neck just to shut him up. The feeling of anger rose steadily and I could feel myself starting to break, I was about to lose it.

"I don't give a fuck, Alek! This was our fucking night. We had fixed everything up. Than you just let fucking Kevin come in and ruin it! This is such fucking bullshit, Aleks! You don't understand. you don't fucking care to see how every time me and you plan to do something or are doing it, Kevin fucking comes in and fucks it up. He's a fucking home wrecker. Can you not fucking see that?! Or are you too fucking stupid, too fucking thick skulled to see anything happening in front of you. I'm so fucking done, Aleks. I'm tired of having my fucking heart strings played with.",my words spilled out, I couldn't stop them and I could see Aleks stop and hold his breath as I said it all.

I scream so loudly, and you pretend not to hear to hear a sound. I get so frustrated I feel like you crossed the line. Sometimes you love me, and sometimes you act like you don't have the time...

I shook my head and spun on my heel, all I wanted was to get the fuck out of here before I lost all my shit on him. Everything this week had been ending in fucking arguments, it's what we thrived on and at the same time it was fucking killing me.

Everything was fucking killing me. He wouldn't even fucking let me go with him and Kevin to hang out, that's what had fucking pushed me this time. Why did I let this asshole do this to me? Why did I let him fucking push me and break me only to have him pick me back up and have me wrapped around him again?!

My feet carried me out of the room, but I could hear the sounds of light footsteps behind me. I scolded, shaking my head, trying to clear it of all the utter bullshit. I could feel my body shaking in anger.

Fuck Aleks. Fuck him. Fuck him.

I hated him.

He was the only fucking person who knew exactly what to do to piss my off to the point of not coming back.

I made it to the front door and pulled it open quickly, making it hit the wall hard enough for the doorknob to make a hole in the wall. Sudden hands on my waist scared me and made me stop. My breath hitched and I could feel his arms wrap around me tightly as he laid his face into my back. He was breathing steadily, making me match his. I could feel his hands slowly trace circles into my back, trying to calm me...

I'm ready to give up then you remind me why I even started loving you. It's the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I get so frustrated, about how everything ends in a fight, and then you tell me you love me then change your mind by the end of the night...

"I love you, James...",he whispered, kissing my neck softly. I bit my lip. I wasn't giving in that easily. I just said I hated him. He had pissed me off for the last fucking time. I was done with his lying and his constant nagging.

"Get the fuck off, Aleks. I'm done. I fucking hate you.",I stated, weakly pulling at his arms around me. He shook his head. "We both know you don't hate me, James. You could never just hate me, just like I couldn't hate you.",he explained, hiding his face in my back. I pushed him away and I felt myself snap.

You're so complicated, I must made an abrupt statement. I just hate it your lust faded, I'm frustrated. I'm suffocating cause you're choking me blue. You push me off the edge and now I'm broken in two. Well half of me decided not to recognize your lies, and the other half of me just wants a moment of truth...

"HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT ANYMORE? WE HAVEN'T HAD A FUCKING DAY TOGETHER IN MONTHS, ALEKSANDR. MONTHS.",I screamed,"Why the fuck are you stringing me on? Why are you constantly lying to me? Why are you keeping me close when I know for a fucking fact you don't feel the same way I do? You don't fucking love me. Whatever interest you had in me seems to have been thrown out the fucking window. You're so fucking complicated, Aleksandr!"

I took a shaky breath and clenched my fist. My body was shaking. My face a was burning up and I couldn't control myself anymore. Everything I'd been holding back for months was flying out of my mouth.

I put Novocaine on my soul again, but still the pain hurts, let me clarify exactly how my brain works. I love you and I hate you. I love you but I hate you. I love you but I hate you. I wanna leave but I'll be back I'm sure, but every time you make me cry I love you that much more...

"I can't fucking control my self around you. One minute I love you more than life, the next I want to fucking kill you from how much I hate you... Whenever you go out with Eddie or Kevin, you basically tell me to fuck off. I'm your fucking boyfriend. I'm supposed to be the person you care the most about. But no. You shoot me the fucking middle finger and push me to the fucking ground, only to pick me back up when you want me back. I fucking hate this all. You literally make me fucking cry my eyes out every fucking day. Out of anger. Out of pain. Out of how fucking badly I think all of this is my fault when in all actuality it's fucking yours for being so goddamn complicated all the time."

I could see Aleks struggling to get words out, for one single remark. He couldn't. He knew everything I had fucking yelled was true...

And honestly? That pissed me off even more.

I kept my fist glued to my sides and walked outside. My hand was grabbed by his and I yanked it back roughly. "Fucking stop, Aleksandr.",I growled lowly. I heard a small whimper and continued to walk away. My name was being called, over and over. More and more weakly each time until the voice became hoarse.

I sighed and opened my car door. Sliding inside I shook my head knowingly.

I'd surely be back with him tomorrow...