one shots

I Fucking Hate You ~Jeamus~ {Anger}

Are you fucking serious? After all of our history together, after being best friends for this long, now is the time you want to break things off with me?

Do you not get how much of a terrible fucking person you are?

James, I've been friends with you before any of this shit. Why is it now that you to walk out of my life? The time where I'm actually fucking struggling to keep breathing. The one time where I can barley look in the mirror because I'm scared to see how thin my face has gotten and how my eyes have darkened underneath.

I'm not in fucking good shape, James.

No matter how many times before I have said that I was.

"I'm fine."

Can you not hear a lie when someone tells you one?

I'm obviously not fucking fine.

Every little fucking thing is affecting me. It either makes me cry until I'm not breathing properly, pisses me off to the point of hurting someone, or makes me want to just completely stop...

Stop moving...

Stop breathing...

Stop recording...

Stop being with people...

Stop loving you...

But apparently, you stopped giving a shit a long time ago.

When's the last time you started a conversation with me?

When's the last time you asked me "How are you doing" or "How was your day"?

The last time you said "Good morning", "Good night" or "I love you, Seamus"?

I don't even know when that was...

I- I fucking hate you.

IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou.

You have no idea how much I want to scream that at you.

You call me the asshole when obviously, it's fucking you.

Only an asshole when stop being friends with someone when they need them the most. How many times have I been there for you, James?

Like the time you were crying when Ein had passed away, I was there, holding you, telling you that it'd be okay, that your baby wasn't a sick, old dog anymore.

When Aleks was with you and he fucking ruined you, took away that beautiful smile and that loud laughter for the longest time, all because he wanted a quick fuck and you fell for him...

My fans...

I could fucking live without them.

But you?

You are the only thing that keeps me going...

And you just want to fucking stop being friends with me...

Just because you're with Aleks again...

I'm not the type of fucking person to pull shit, I know when I'm not the right one for someone. I don't fucking want to be with you, I need to. I can breathe when I'm with you. I can stop being such a depressed, angry all the time, bipolar asshole when I'm with you..

You make me happy...

But after that text, I- I....

All.

I.

Feel.

Is.

Hatred.

You don't fucking do that to your so called, "best friend".

Just looking at the message again makes me want to grab you by the neck to make you feel the way I felt.

To Seamus

From James

I'm so sorry Seamus...

I- I just can't do this anymore...

I can't be friends with you, Aleks gets too jealous and you have to understand that I always want my Aleks to be happy... I love you, Seamus, you know that. You're my best friend (or were), you know me more than anyone... But I can't talk to you anymore. I just can't. I can't keep talking to you and telling you I love you when I want to be with Aleks, I only ever want to be with Aleks... Goodbye, Seamus. Have a nice life.

Even re- reading it again...

It stings...

He'd put Aleks over me, which I understand, he's James' boyfriend, but dropping me? After everything we've been through? After all the shit I've done for him? He'd just let Aleks tell him to drop me and actually listen...

I smirked, choking out a dry laugh, feeling my tears starting to well up already. My fingers pushed one key and send.

To James

From Seamus

k

My fingers moved across the screen again, and my breath was stuck in my throat as I stared at the small device. The tears fell down my cheeks and I angrily brushed them away.

I wasn't going to cry over this asshole.

Smirking, I looked down and clicked send.

To James

From Seamus

I fucking hate you