one shots

Normal (Part 1) ~ImmortalFox~

This isn't....

Normal.

At least, I don't think it is.

Is it normal to cry every night?

Is it normal to feel like shit all the time?

Is it normal for me to blame myself for the reason I'm feeling like this?

I don't think it is, but hey, what do I know.

I'm just some clingy, over emotional boyfriend who can't do anything but let you have your way.

I can't say "No."

I can't say "Stop."

I can't say "Please, love me like you used to."

I can't say "I hate you so fucking much right now, but I need you more than anything."

What have we turned into, Eddie?

What have you turned into...?

What happened to that cute little Latino roommate of mine that I fell madly in love with?

I remember how you used to take the time to tell me how much you loved me. You would tell me how much you needed me. You would tell me that I was important and that I was your one and only Aleksandr...

It's barely been a year and this is happening to us...

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to you to get you back.

I know where you really go when you tell me you're going to work or you're going to record.

I'm not that fucking stupid.

I know about her.

The really pretty girl with blonde hair and the long pale legs you can't keep your hands off.

Yeah.

That bitch.

Ha.

She's the reason you look so happy when you get home, isn't she?

I honestly wouldn't be surprised.

While your with her, I'm at home.

Crying my eyes out.

Lonely.

Denying every obvious sign I see.

You're little pet names you call me...

"Baby."

"Prince."

"My one and only."

I know I'm not the only one who gets to be called those names that still make my stomach swarm with butterflies...

I- I'm not the only one...

And I'm used to not being the only one...

That's not normal.

None of this is normal!

You know that's all I've ever wanted, Eddie.

I've always wanted something constant . Someone I can have in my life all the time, not someone who finds someone other fucking person without even trying to work things out. Without giving me notice. Without warning me that you didn't love me anymore....

What the fuck did I even do?!

I always took time out of my day, even when I was busy to text you something sweet or to ask what you were up to or that I loved you. You never fucking did that to me. And I still thought you were the best fucking boyfriend, and even person in the world for even texting me back a quick ass little heart.

I gave you all my attention, all my fucking love.

You were my first time...

You were my first actual love...

Where's my normal Eddie when I needed him the most...?

All the nights I cried because I longed for you, longed for you to notice me, to touch me, kiss me, fucking talk to me for just fucking once when I needed you.

You were never there.

And I still fucking loved you.

I still love you as of now, for fuck's sakes!

I can't do this anymore...

I've dealt with so much stupid and strange shit, I'm just done. I fucking can't at this point. It's hurting me. It's making me go insane.

You're an abnormality.

But I love you.

And I will do anything to fix you.