Demoted!!!

Day 4 -One More Boring Day-A Walk to Remember

October 29, 2017.

Sunday.

These days are actually one of the days that I am most complacent—a day to go to church. That's where my thoughts are in the most complacent state as they can be, and the time that I can be set free of all the negative thoughts in me—a paradise for the mind.

However, I really think that something is wrong with me. My mind is not functioning very well today. Is it me, or I am committing a sin of not totally committing myself while at church? This mind gives me the creeps.

Yet I totally know. I am aware why this is happening to me—and once more, it is my very fault. Tsk. Who knew that the damage and shock from THAT event really affected my life like this?

"Come on, Paul! It's just a demotion! Why are you saying like it is the end of your life? It's because it is. That organization means a lot to me. "

I must be very crazy right now. Who knew that I will indulge myself in anthypoporas and illeisms just to satisfy my weak will? I once wrote an article about the strength of the human will, but once again, who knew that I will be this hypocritical?

"Behave yourself, Paul! You can still go back to that organization in 26 more days! Just wait!"

Yes. I know that. I know that perfectly. But I am becoming impatient. I cannot wait any longer. My life is seriously being affected. Paul, do you want to me to fall like this easily? I keep a name of never losing to anyone when it comes to rank in school, and THAT DEMOTION that you are speaking of is directly affecting my everyday life. I know it is two separate things, but that is a human for you. You understand, right? And don't be saying that it is my fault. Because it is.

"You really are in the worst state now, Paul. You have now been damaged in the head to the point that you would intentionally say procatalepses, even though you are not like that in the first place. Yes. It's just as you say. It is entirely your fault."

I KNOW THAT, OKAY?!

"Oh? Are you running out of things that you want to say? Who knew that you are weak against debating yourself? You need to be better, Paul. Have a think of all things that happened. Study. Improve yourself, you naïve little whiffet."

I gave up against having an argument with myself. Even my inner consciousness is a difficult opponent when it comes to this. They say people have many personalities. How about if I awaken this side of mine? That would be great—however, that would also be bad, not only for me, but for the people around me.

Around noon, I gathered up the will to log in on Dissension, even though I already concluded that I would not log in for a while. I asked Annabelle of what she thinks of me, not as a man, but as a person—a writer—or more accurately, a former writer of NWA.

"Look, Paul. I am very busy both in NWA and in my personal life. If I someone asks me to do things that I have no involvement or reason to do it, then it is not in my higher priorities. I have nothing personal against you. I just don't know what else would you want to hear from me."

I see. That explains a lot, were I to look beyond the lines. What a very wonderful answer. And I am not being sarcastic.

I asked Neenah the same question.

"I am worried about how you're kind of a bad person sometimes when you are actually not. The thing I'm worried about is the way you write. I have said this so many times, but you are warned many times, yet you still barely improved. Have a think, and then return when the right time comes."

Such is the harsh truth of life. I spend the afternoon on a very long walk, aiming to have a final resolution about how I am going to survive these 26 days of frustration incoming. To sate myself, I fantasized about writing another novel, something that will totally make me want to write it—a novel with all my fetishes condensed into one.

However, that thought would be very counterproductive. Essays and novels are different from what NWA does best—synopses. In novels and essays, you get a free writing style, but in synopses, you are restricted not to editorialize, not to give out plot specifics, not to be boring, and the writing style is not as free. That's what makes synopses a much harder adversity—a much more difficult composition to master.

The distance between the church and our home is quite convenient—exactly one mile. After some thorough thinking, I have decided what to write so that my training and improvement will rapidly increase in rate—write the synopsis imbued with all my time and energy writing, editing it with the best of my ability, being serious like never before—my ultimate masterpiece.

Yes. I have decided to do it, for that is how serious I am about rejoining NWA, about regaining the privilege to write for the legendary organization, finding my rightful place, in the journey that they call life.

However, many things will hinder my advancement, and I have said that too many times already. How funny though, for one of those hindrances is I DON'T HAVE ANY WORK TO WRITE A SYNOPSIS FOR YET. Should I write a synopsis for Close Game? Or for the comic To Loving You? Praises of the Rainbow? Love of Cat? Whatever it is, it must be the perfect one, in order for my masterpiece to be thoroughly written in quality and not in quantity, for the perfection of myself, and also for the organization I am going to rejoin in. For that is once again my goal—the reason why I am existing in the first place. Or so I think.

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Afterword!

There! The fourth day and I have finally found my resolution to finally create my masterpiece! Once again, so sorry for the blandness and the uninteresting qualities of the story!

However, there may be words that you cannot understand here like, ILLEISM, ANTHYPOPORA, and PROCATALEPSIS. So, a bit of trivia.

Illeism—referring oneself in third person. Example: "Paul, why are you giving them an example?"

Anthypopora—asking a question, then answering it yourself. Example: "Paul, why are you giving them an example? So that they can learn it."

Procatalepsis—answering a possible argument before someone can even ask it. Example: "Paul, why are you giving them an example? So that they can learn it. And yes, I know you are now confused, reader."

They are figures of speech. You cannot find them in the Merriam-Webster's dictionary app on iPhone and Android.

g!9.cG