Guilt: A Fractured Minds Novel

Chapter Eleven

After opening the back he hands out the towels. Humoring him I set the towel down before getting in and shutting the door behind me. Pulling the seatbelt across my body I click it in while muttering, "Sometimes you act like a girl when it comes to your things." Kara laughs at my words.

Ethan is the last to get in and start the car. Looking over his shoulder he backs up and drives back up the long roads we came down. Kara turns on the radio before settling back into her seat. Song and song comes on while we all sit and think. Just as the song ends and the next one begins I realize that I've heard this before although I could've sworn that this is the first time I've ever hear it.

We laugh as we scream out the lyrics half of the times guessing them wrong. Charlie smiles as Tori's voice cracked for a moment forgetting the stresses of life. Charlie's blue eyes look at me in rearview mirror before focusing on the road in front of her. Trees blur past as if a second thought from everything around them. We start to slow down. As the sky grows dark she pulls over and turns around looking from Tori to me.
"Are you guys ready?" She asks before turning off the car and getting out.

"Alexandria?" Kara asks as she waves a hand in front of my face. Blinking I flinch away and swallow the lump in my throat. Taking a deep breath I think about what I just remembered. Charlie was there with Tori and me. She was also in the memory with Tori's boyfriend Nick. Where we going? What were we doing? What we doing in the forest at night? When did that happen?

"Alexandria!"

"Yes?" I ask as Kara worried eyes study me. Leaning back in the seat I take a deep breath and try to relax. I'll have to ask Charlie when she drops my car off tomorrow. I decide right then and there. I need some answers and hopefully she'll know something.

"Are you feeling okay?" Ethan asks looking at me through the rearview mirror.

"Y-yeah. I am just tired. It's been a long day..." I mutter the last part under my breath as Kara shakes her head before turn back around in her seat. Reaching forward she turns the radio down to a low almost nonexistent noise.

"Are you sure Alex?" Kara asks as Ethan continues to drive us all home.

"Yes."

Closing my eyes I start to think about all of the times Victoria would steal my clothes and not give them back. Like all sisters we weren't perfect and had our fights (most were about clothes and occasionally about makeup products that hadn't been given back). After numerous time of asking for a jacket that she refused to give it back, saying that she didn't know what had happened to it. I had decided to take matters into my own hands and snuck into her room when she was out. Thinking it would show her not to take something of mine I took her favorite lipstick and hid it in one of the draws in my desk. Later that night she walked into my room asking where it had gone. I shrugged and said that I didn't know where it was. She was pissed and demanded for it back. I'd laughed as said that I had no idea where it had gone. Little did I know that one thing would start so many problems between the two of us. I let out a yawn causing Kara to look over her shoulder at me.

"I'm tired." I mutter as she turns around. As we go over a bump I hit my head on the roof of the car. Muttering, ouch, to myself I shook my head and look at Ethan. Closing my eyes I sigh and relax into the backseat. Opening my mouth to speak Kara unknowingly cuts me off. There's a short pause before she speaks, "Ethan, I'm worried about Alex."

Opening my eyes in surprise I watch in the fading light as Ethan glances over at Kara his mouth slipping into a small frown. Eyebrows knitted together he turns back to the road before changing lanes.

"I know you are and I am as well. We're doing all we can."

"But are we really?"

"Kara-"

"Listen, I know that for the both of us it's hard to think of losing someone close to us. Think of how Alex must feel. Her older sister left her."

"You shouldn't assume that others haven't lost someone." Ethan says before turning off the radio.

"Ethan, I-I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I don't like to talk about it.." He croaked out before lifting a hand to his hair and ran his fingers through his curly dirty blond hair. Closing my eyes I continue to listen to their conversation.
"I just thought that you're so happy that-"

"What? That I couldn't have lost someone?"

Kara stays silent confirming his question. I can see how Kara could think that Ethan has never looked upon death. He's so happy and full of life. Perhaps because he's tasted death he knows what it means to truly live. I think as the air hardens as the hum of the car is heard loud and clear.

"People are good at hiding things from others. Sometimes we even hide things from ourselves because it's to hard to accept. It hurts us so deeply that we hide it in the most darkest parts of ourselves thinking that it will disappear, but it won't. Kara I've tried to forget the fact that "the geeky kid" that moved to Michigan died-" He takes a breath before letting it out, "But I've come to realize that you need to face these things head on. The longer you push it aside the more it will fester like an infected wound."

"Ethan is that why you defended him when Alyssa brought him up?"

"Yeah. Don't mistake my silence of the topic for denial. It's never come up before and I don't feel the need to share."

Tears gather behind closed eyelids as I let out a breath of air I was holding in. I had no idea that Ethan had lost a friend to death. The thought hurts because Victoria is just like his friend as he's gone. At least Ethan knew what happened to him. Rather than I being left to wonder. If only I could find a way to find out what happened to her. I think before opening my eyes and looking at Ethan in the dark. He sits stiff facing the road as Kara glances over at him. Chewing on her bottom lip she looks torn. I know she must've wished that she'd kept her mouth shut, but it can't be changed. Words often spoken are wished to be unraveled like our lives.

Looking out the window I watch as our town grows before my very eyes. Taking a deep breath I glance back at my two friends. Both of which are sitting in silence alone with their thoughts. If only there was something that I could say to get them talking again, but I know that this their problem that they'll have to sort out.

Ethan turns down many streets on the way back to my house. As he drives down the street lamp lights up the side of his face as a stony mask. It seems that they're both lost somewhere in their own thoughts. Gazing out the window I watch as the neighborhoods grow more familiar by the minute. The sight of my neighborhood is relieving. I can escape this tense atmosphere.